Fic: In the Family Way (11(a)/11)

[rusty_armour]

Title: In the Family Way (11(a)/11)
Author: Rusty Armour
Pairing: McShep, Beckett/Other
Summary: Some are born into families; others create their own.
Word Count: 4,525
Category: Slash, MPreg, AU
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Pretty much everything up to and including season three.
Disclaimer: Thou Shalt Not Steal. Even in the interest of fic. Most of these characters aren't mine. I, uh, borrowed them. Yeah.

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I’m sure everyone assumed this day would never come, that I would never post the final installment of this story. I had begun to have doubts myself. However, after an incredibly long delay, it’s here. I realize that I should probably grovel and apologize profusely, offering several excuses for this severe case of neglect, but, really, does anyone actually want to be subjected to all that? Trust me. You’re not missing much. I also know that there are probably only a handful of people who are still reading this story – and that would be a small handful as I have small hands – but I don’t care because it’s done, over, complete, finished, finito! This is an ex-WIP!

Thanks to everyone who has supported me and has been infinitely patient as I slowly churned out parts! Your faith and loyalty has definitely been appreciated!

For those of you who are interested, you can find the complete version
of this story (broken down into four parts and including bad cover art) here.

---

The kitchen fell into an uncomfortable silence, and then everyone heard Rodney making his way up the stairs.

Sheppard immediately started chanting under his breath. “Please don’t laugh, please don’t laugh, please don’t laugh.” Then Jeannie elbowed him sharply in the ribs, and Sheppard groaned instead.

Carson watched Carter’s face carefully as Rodney entered the kitchen, but even he was surprised when Carter leapt up from the table and knocked over her chair.

“Hi, Sam,” Rodney said.

“Holy Hannah!” Carter gasped.





Carter stared at Rodney’s belly for almost a full minute before advancing slowly towards him. Her hand began extending, as if by its own volition, almost touching Rodney’s belly, before Carter seemed to snap out of her trance. Blushing, Carter said, “May I?”

Rodney nodded. “Of course.”

Carter cautiously laid her hand on Rodney’s belly. Then she sprang back in surprise when she felt the baby kick. “Oh my God, you’re pregnant!” Carter cried. “You’re really really pregnant!”

Rodney smirked. “Yes, I really really am.”

“But how…how is this even possible?” Carter asked.

“Maybe you should sit down,” Rodney said.

Carter shook her head, her eyes still fixed on Rodney’s belly. “No, no, I’m fine.”

“Well, then, maybe I should sit down.” Rodney headed to the living room, Carter following closely behind him.

“How did it happen? Was it an Ancient device?” Carter was about to sit down on the couch beside Rodney, but Sheppard dodged past the coffee table and stole her spot. Rodney shot Sheppard a confused look, while Carson and Jeannie tried to smother their laughter. Carter simply raised an eyebrow and sat next to Sheppard instead.

“The embryo was implanted by an ascended Ancient,” Rodney said. “I think she may have been pregnant when she ascended and, as she couldn’t carry the baby herself, was looking for a surrogate.”

Carter leaned past Sheppard to look directly at Rodney. “But you’re a man. Why wouldn’t she have chosen a female surrogate instead?”

Rodney shrugged. “I came across her in an Ancient lab that had obviously been abandoned thousands of years ago. Maybe I was the first human she’d come across since ascending.”

Carter shook her head, unconvinced. “But if she ascended then surely she could have found a woman to carry her child.”

Sheppard turned to Carter, effectively blocking her view of Rodney. “If she’d left the lab to impregnate a woman, it would have been seen as interference by the other Ancients.”

Carter stared at Sheppard in disbelief. “Oh, and impregnating Rodney wasn’t interfering?”

Rodney placed a hand on Sheppard’s chest and pushed him back against the couch cushions. “She was healing me at the time,” he said. “In fact, she saved my life. And, yes, I realize that’s interference too, but, in doing so, she killed a Wraith, so I’m sure that must have earned her some brownie points.”

“Killed a Wraith and knocked up an astrophysicist,” Sheppard muttered.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Well, I’ve never claimed that her actions were entirely selfless, but, then, I can’t think of a lot of Ancients who didn’t have some motive for their actions, can you?”

“No,” Sheppard said. “I guess not.”

Carter got up from the couch, walking around the coffee table to stand in front of Rodney. “What are you going to do?” she asked. “Do you plan to raise the baby yourself?” She glanced at Carson. “How do you plan to deliver it? You obviously can’t do it here.”

“Ah, that’s actually why I called you,” Rodney said. “I need your help, Sam.”

Carter nodded. “Okay. What do you want me to do?”

Rodney shared the full details of his predicament, emphasizing the need to protect the baby from the American government and all branches of the military. Carson thought it was to Carter’s credit that she listened patiently, remaining silent until Rodney had finished speaking.

“So, basically you’re looking for safe passage back to Atlantis,” Carter said.

“And assurance that I’ll be able to reach Atlantis without military interference.” Rodney’s chin was raised and his hand was resting on his belly.

Carter crossed her arms. “If you want my help, there’s going to have to be some military interference.” She sighed when Rodney tilted his chin even higher. “Rodney, I don’t know if I can give you that kind of guarantee. My rank isn’t high enough. However, I know someone who can help.”

“Who?” Rodney demanded.

“General O’Neill,” Carter said.

Rodney’s eyes narrowed. “Why O’Neill?”

Carter hesitated, considering her words carefully. “Because I trust him and I know he’d do everything in his power to protect the baby. He’d never allow the government or military to take it.”

“Her,” Sheppard said. “Rodney’s going to have a little girl.”

Carter smiled. “Her, then. General O’Neill will protect her.”

Rodney shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t think O’Neill likes me very much. He may not want to help.”

Carter crouched down in front of Rodney, resting a hand on his knee. “I’m sure that’s not true, Rodney. Even if it was, he’d still help you.”

“Oh, and why is that?” Rodney asked.

“Because I’m going to convince him.” Carter rose from her haunches, reached into a pocket for her cell phone, and then turned to Jeannie. “Would you mind if I made this call in the kitchen?”

“You can use my bedroom or the basement if you’d like some privacy,” Jeannie said.

“No, the kitchen’s fine.” Carter flipped open her phone and began punching buttons as she walked out of the living room.

During Carter’s phone call, Andrew emerged from his room. Carson had sent him to bed earlier when he saw that Andrew was suffering from another headache. Andrew still seemed to be half asleep as he almost walked past the kitchen without noticing Carter. When he did spot Carter, he stopped and stared at her. “Is that Colonel Carter?” he asked. “She’s beautiful.”

Rodney snorted. “She’s out of your league, kid.”

Andrew looked thoughtful. “Maybe she likes younger men.”

Both Rodney’s and Jeannie’s mouths fell open, but it was Sheppard who spoke. “What is it with you McKay men and Carter? Is it hereditary or something?”

Carter reappeared in the living room before anyone could answer. “Okay, I managed to get a hold of General O’Neill. He says he’ll be here tomorrow.”

Jeannie’s eyebrows soared. “Wow. You must have been really convincing.”

Carter grinned. “It didn’t take much. I think he’s looking for an excuse to get out of Washington.” Her eyes fell on Andrew. “Oh, hello.”

Andrew stepped forward, thrusting out his hand. “Hi, I’m Andrew.”

Carter grasped Andrew’s hand eagerly. “Sam,” she said.

“Would you like to see my hockey cards?” Andrew asked.

“Sure.” Carter took Andrew’s arm and allowed him to lead her to his room.

“She’s still out of your league,” Rodney said.

Carter glanced at Rodney over her shoulder. “I’ve fallen for guys who were into hockey before.” She ruffled Andrew’s hair, and Andrew gazed up at her adoringly.

“She’s a McKay siren,” Sheppard growled.

Rodney sighed dreamily. “Yeah.”


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~


Much to Andrew’s disappointment, and Sheppard’s relief, Carter didn’t stay the night. However, she did return the following day with Major General Jack O’Neill in tow – literally. “Is this going to take long?” O’Neill asked after he’d been introduced to Jeannie and Andrew. “It’s just that there’s this sweet street hockey game going on outside.”

Carter swatted O’Neill’s arm. “Sir!”

O’Neill pouted. “What? I said I’d help McKay – whatever his problem is.”

“You didn’t tell him?” Carson and Jeannie exclaimed.

Carter smiled. “I thought it would be more fun this way.”

“What would be more fun?” O’Neill asked. He scanned the living room impatiently. “Where the heck is McKay anyway? And shouldn’t Sheppard be here too?”

“They’re in the basement,” Carson said. “I’ll go fetch them.”

“Whoa, now. Let’s not do anything hasty.” O’Neill’s eyes wandered to the window and the street outside. Then they flew to Andrew, who was parked in front of his PlayStation. “I’m surprised you’re not out there.”

Andrew scowled but didn’t take his eyes off the TV. “Mom won’t let me.”

O’Neill turned to Jeannie, one eyebrow raised. “You won’t let him?”

Jeannie crossed her arms. “The last time he played hockey, he ended up with a concussion. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t want my son getting killed next time.”

“I see.” O’Neill took Jeannie by the elbow and herded her to the kitchen. “We need to talk.”

“What?” Jeannie said. “But…”

Carson never found out what they talked about, as their conversation couldn’t be heard outside the kitchen, but, when they returned, they were both pale and Jeannie seemed visibly shaken.

Carson touched Jeannie’s shoulder in concern. “Are you all right, luv?”

Jeannie nodded then looked at Andrew. “You can play street hockey if you want to.”

Andrew’s head whipped around in surprise. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Jeannie said.

Andrew turned off his PlayStation and jumped to his feet. “Thanks, Mom!”

O’Neill walked over to the window and watched Andrew run down the driveway. Carter leaned towards Jeannie, and Carson just managed to hear what she said.

“He told you about Charlie, didn’t he?” Carter asked.

“Yes,” Jeannie whispered. She cleared her throat. “I’ll go get Rodney.”

O’Neill was still standing at the window when Jeannie returned with Rodney and Sheppard. He turned towards them and froze, gaping at Rodney. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he could speak. “There’s something different about you. Have you done something with your hair?”

Rodney snorted. “Yeah, and I got a manicure while I was at it.”

“Riiight.” O’Neill crossed the room, his eyes glued to Rodney’s belly. “So, what happened?”

“Oh, the usual,” Sheppard said. “Rodney was impregnated by an Ancient.”

O’Neill nodded. “As one is in the Pegasus Galaxy.” His eyes flicked back to Rodney’s belly. “Maybe you’d better start from the beginning.”

Rodney sighed and headed over to the couch to tell his story once again. O’Neill remained standing, but Sheppard sat down beside Rodney.

“You must be so proud,” O’Neill said to Sheppard once Rodney had finished. Carson could tell that O’Neill was joking, but Sheppard seemed to take the question seriously.

Wrapping an arm around Rodney’s shoulders, Sheppard said, “I get to be the daddy.”

Rodney quickly shook off Sheppard’s arm. “Shut up!” he hissed. “Are you trying to destroy your career?”

O’Neill rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Uh, I’m not asking, so you don’t need to be telling.”

Sheppard smiled and patted Rodney’s belly. “Okay. Just as long as I get to be the daddy.”

Rodney shot a long-suffering look at O’Neill and threw up his hands.

O’Neill moved closer to Sheppard, cupping his ear. “I’m sorry. What was that? I seem to have gone temporarily deaf.”

Rodney clamped a hand over Sheppard’s mouth. “Nothing. He said nothing.”

O’Neill’s eyes shifted back to the window. “Is there some reason you’ve asked me here? Other than to hear your happy news, that is?”

“Rodney requires safe passage back to Atlantis,” Carter said.

O’Neill stared at Carter blankly. “Safe passage?”

Carter nodded. “The American military will naturally want to kidnap Rodney and the baby.”

“They will?” O’Neill asked.

Carter jerked her head at Rodney. “Yes, sir. Of course they will.”

O’Neill’s eyebrows rose. “Oh! Oh, right. Yes, I have to admit that I’m fighting the urge to kidnap McKay and the baby myself.”

When Rodney’s eyes widened and he shrank back against Sheppard, Carter said, “He’s just kidding. You are just kidding, aren’t you, sir?”

O’Neill rolled his eyes. “I think I can resist the temptation.” He glanced at Rodney’s belly and sighed. “I’ll make some calls, see what I can do.”


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~


O’Neill started making calls that same day – once he’d had his fill of street hockey. Three days after that, they were packing and making arrangements to leave. While Sheppard seemed excited by the prospect of returning to Atlantis, Rodney was nervous and moody and Carson was quiet and withdrawn. Jeannie made a valiant effort to be cheerful, when it was painfully obvious that she was on the verge of tears. Andrew seemed to cope by avoiding the situation altogether, first going out to play with his friends and then retreating to his room. He didn’t even appear when Jamie and Claude came over, though he did let Britney in his room when she knocked on the door.

When both Carson and Jeannie had been forced to flee to the bathroom in a flood of tears, Sheppard had made a hasty retreat across the street with Claude to investigate the strange clunking noise coming from Claude’s car. Jamie decided that it was an ideal time to broach a subject with Rodney that had been on his mind for some time. He sat down on the couch and handed Rodney a present.

“I want pictures,” Jamie said.

Rodney stared at Jamie, dumbstruck. “What?”

Jamie smiled gently. “When the baby’s born, I want pictures. I assume you’ll be sending some to Jeannie, so you can send some to me too.”

Rodney gazed around the living room wildly, as if seeking an escape route. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jamie squeezed his hand. “Honey, I may not be the sharpest eyebrow pencil at the cosmetics counter, but I’m not stupid,” he said. “You were somehow impregnated, possibly by aliens, which is why you came here in the first place, isn’t it? And, now, you have to go back because the baby’s almost due.”

Rodney feigned laughter. “No, it’s a teratoma, like you said before.”

Jamie gave Rodney a pitying look. “Sweetie, I think we both know that isn’t true.” He gazed down at the present Rodney was holding limply in his hands. “Aren’t you going to open it?”

“What?” Rodney glanced down at the gift. “Oh. Right.” He slowly tore away the wrapping paper and then was lifting up a tiny knitted sweater. It was pale green with yellow ducks. Rodney’s fear level went up a notch.

“I didn’t know what you were expecting, so I didn’t go with pink or blue,” Jamie said. “I couldn’t resist these duckies, though. Aren’t they precious?” Rodney dropped the sweater hastily, and Jamie patted his shoulder. “I won’t tell anyone. I won’t even tell my family.” Jamie stood up. “I’d better go rescue Sheppard before Claude hauls out our busted lawnmower from the shed and gets him to take a look at that too.” Jamie started heading towards the front hall.

Rodney closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s a girl.”

Jamie spun around, grinning. “I thought it might be. You’re carrying high.”

Rodney stared at Jamie in disbelief. “Uh, you do realize that predicting a baby’s gender based on its position is an old wives’ tale that has absolutely no basis in science, right?”

Jamie shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it?”

Rodney glared at him. “You had a 50/50 chance of being right.”

“Yes, but there was also a 50/50 chance that I could have been wrong,” Jamie said.

“What?”

Carson walked into the living room. For a second, it looked like he might be okay, but then his eyes began to overflow again and he was forced to return to the bathroom.

When it came time for them to leave Scarborough, Carson also had trouble containing his emotions. He wasn’t alone. Everyone was fighting back tears.

Sheppard had to clear his throat a couple of times when Andrew’s bottom lip started trembling. “Your uncle and I will visit you and your mom as often as we can,” he said, pulling Andrew into his arms.

Andrew was visibly upset when Rodney hugged him, but, then, Rodney was crying too. Unable to speak, Rodney kissed the top of Andrew’s head. However, Jeannie wasn’t willing to accept the silent treatment.

“I want pictures,” she told Rodney. “Lots of pictures. And you’d better come for a visit. Soon.”

“Okay,” Rodney whispered.

When Jeannie hugged Sheppard, she said, “You take good care of my brother and the baby, or I’m going to come to the Pegasus Galaxy and kick your ass.”

Sheppard smiled. “Understood.”

When Carson was faced with having to say goodbye to Jeannie and Andrew, he wrapped his arms around both of them, making no effort to hide his tears. “I’ll come back. I promise.”

Jeannie nodded against Carson’s shoulder. “Of course you will,” she said, though she didn’t sound convinced.

Carson cupped Jeannie’s face in his hands and kissed her. “I love you.”

Jeannie bit back a sob. “I love you too.”

Sheppard draped his arms over Rodney’s and Carson’s shoulders as they walked down the driveway. In an effort to give their Atlantis colleagues some privacy, O’Neill and Carter had stayed in the car. However, as soon as they saw the state Carson was in, they both got out. O’Neill handed Carson an entire box of tissues, and Carter hugged him tightly.

As they drove away, Carson didn’t dare look back. He was afraid that if he caught another glimpse of Jeannie and Andrew, he would jump out of the car and run back to the house.


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~


That morning, as they had finished off their packing, Rodney had confided to Carson that his biggest concern, after dealing with the brass at the SGC, was the border crossing. Carson could tell by the dark circles under Rodney’s eyes that Rodney had lost sleep worrying about it. And while Sheppard, O’Neill and Carter seemed outwardly calm, the border crossing was obviously something that was occupying their minds as well.

In a gas station convenience store in Oakville, Carson had seen them gather in a brief huddle. They had spoken in tense whispers, gazing over their shoulders cautiously in case they were overheard. Carson had quickly paid for Rodney’s box of Smarties and had gotten out of there. When they reached Hamilton, O’Neill had parked the car outside a service centre, swapping seats with Sheppard.

“We’re taking turns,” O’Neill said as he climbed into the back seat beside Rodney, who was seated in the middle. Carson sensed that there was a little more to it than that, and so did Rodney, judging by his wide eyes and anxious expression. He had probably been counting on having Sheppard by his side when they reached the border.

As if sensing Rodney’s discomfort, Sheppard swivelled around in the driver’s seat and smiled. “We’re hoping to use General O’Neill’s considerable clout to avoid any hassles at the border, and seeing as he’s a general it makes more sense for him to be chauffeured by a lower-ranking officer.”

“But you don’t have your uniform,” Rodney said.

Sheppard grimaced in acknowledgement. “Yeah, I know, but I’ve got everything else I need.”

Rodney still seemed apprehensive. “Maybe Sam should drive. She’s in her uniform.”

“Yes,” Sheppard said, “but she outranks me. I think we’ll present a better picture for the border guards if the lowest-ranking officer is playing chauffeur.”

Rodney frowned. “But this vehicle isn’t military issue. It’s just a rental car.”

Sheppard rolled his eyes in the rear-view mirror as he did up his seat belt. “With a general in the back seat, they’re not going to care what kind of vehicle this is, Rodney.”

“Maybe I should drive,” Carson suggested. “I could tell them that you’re my military escort.”

“No, you’re the doctor,” O’Neill snapped. “You stay back here with the patient.” Carter turned in the front passenger seat and glanced at O’Neill with a raised eyebrow. O’Neill scowled at her. “I’m not sitting beside a pregnant man if his doctor isn’t back here with me.”

Carson snorted. “If Rodney goes into labour, the seating arrangement is the last thing you’re going to be worrying about.”

O’Neill shot a stern look at Rodney. “Don’t go into labour.”

Rodney glared at him. “Oh, gee, General, I’ll try not to,” he said. “However, if we sit here much longer, I can’t guarantee that the little one is going to stay put.”

O’Neill raised an eyebrow of his own then nodded. “Understood.” He thumped the back of the driver’s seat. “Home, James.”

Any anxiety Rodney might have been feeling about the border crossing, or birth of his baby, didn’t prevent him from being lulled to sleep by the swaying motion of the car. To O’Neill’s chagrin, Rodney’s head fell on his shoulder.

Sheppard almost drove off the road when he caught sight of Rodney in the rear-view mirror. “Oh! Uh…he didn’t sleep well last night.”

O’Neill couldn’t help smiling despite his predicament. “It’s okay. I’ll live.”

Carter’s head spun around and she reached for her cell phone.

“Don’t you dare take a picture, Carter!” O’Neill said. “That’s an order!”

Carter pouted and lowered her hand. Fortunately, Carson had dug up his cell phone and snapped a picture for her.

O’Neill’s eyes narrowed. “Why, you Scottish son of a – ”

“Oh, look,” Sheppard said. “We’re almost there.”

Both Carson and O’Neill looked out their respective windows and saw that they were approaching the Rainbow Bridge. They were so transfixed by it that they might have missed the Falls if they hadn’t heard the roar of the water or noticed the mist rising in the air.

Once they had entered their lane, they had to wait almost 20 minutes before they reached the checkpoint. Carson was torn between nervousness and relief when he spotted the navy uniform, and a customs officer walked towards them. Rodney continued sleeping, blissfully unaware of what was happening around him.

Sheppard rolled down his window, and a pair of bright blue eyes peered into the car. The customs officer was clean-shaven and, to Carson, he seemed frighteningly young. However, he was thoroughly professional and didn’t even blink when he was handed three military ID cards.

“Sir, may I ask you the nature of your trip?”

“We’re returning home from a vacation,” Sheppard said.

The customs officer glanced at Sheppard’s passengers. “All of you?” he asked. Then his eyes widened when he got a second look at Rodney. “Oh my God. Is he – ?”

Carson leaned between the two front seats. “It’s a teratoma,” he said.

“A what?” The customs officer looked confused.

Carson sighed. He couldn’t believe he was about to do this. “It’s like that guy in Grey’s Anatomy with the tumor – the one that made him look pregnant.”

The customs officer put his hands on his hips. “I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy.”

“Oh.” Carson tried not to panic.

“But my grandfather had a neoplastic tumour,” the customs officer said. “Is it anything like that?”

Carson released the breath he’d been holding. “Aye. Close enough.”

The customs officer nodded. “Well, I hope he’ll be okay. Does he have anything to declare, besides the teratoma?”

O’Neill looked down at the man who was sound asleep on his shoulder. “I think he’s still got some Smarties.”

The customs officer smiled. “Unless he’s got a couple of suitcases full, it shouldn’t be a problem, General.” He patted the roof of the car. “Welcome home.”

It wasn’t until they were driving through New York State that Rodney stirred and woke, lifting his head from O’Neill’s shoulder. “Where are we?” he asked.

“Well, it certainly ain’t OZ, Dorothy,” O’Neill said.

Rodney frowned. “Kansas?”

Carter laughed and turned around in her seat. “Buffalo, Rodney. We’re in Buffalo.”

Rodney gaped at Carter. “Buffalo? But-but…When did we cross the border?”

“About fifteen minutes ago,” Sheppard said.

“Why didn’t anyone wake me?” Rodney asked.

Sheppard smirked in the rear-view mirror. “We didn’t have the heart to. You looked so peaceful.”

O’Neill grimaced. “Yeah, it was freakin’ adorable.”

Rodney stared at O’Neill in surprise before his eyes slid to the shoulder he’d been sleeping on. “Did you spill something on your uniform? It looks wet.”

O’Neill glanced down in alarm. “Oh, for crying out loud!”


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~


O’Neill’s mood didn’t improve when he learned that the flight he had arranged from Andrews Air Force Base – the one that had required strings to be pulled and favours to be cashed in – wasn’t a viable travel option.

“Rodney is in the third trimester of what is already a complicated pregnancy,” Carson said. “We just can’t take the risk.”

“And how is taking a long road trip any better?” O’Neill asked. “Who’s to say he’s any less likely to run into complications on the ground?”

Carson sighed. “If he’s on the ground, he’s closer to a hospital.”

“Hospital?” Rodney cried. “No, no, no, no, no! We can’t go to a hospital!”

“It would only be as a last resort, Rodney,” Carson said.

“It had better be,” O’Neill grumbled. He crossed his arms and stared out the car window for a moment before his eyes flew to Carter. “Why am I only hearing about this now? I would have thought we’d cover this before leaving.”

Carter lifted her head from the road map and smiled at O’Neill sweetly. “I was afraid you might object, sir.”

O’Neill gritted his teeth. “Well, you’re right. I do object. I was led to believe that I only had to get you as far as Washington.”

“We’re still going to Washington,” Sheppard said. “We’ll drop you off and then continue on from there.”

O’Neill’s eyes narrowed. “Just me? What about Carter?”

This time, Carter kept her eyes fastened on the road map. “I’m going with them, sir.”

“Oh, you are, are you?” O’Neill looked at Rodney, who was happily munching on the rest of his Smarties, and shook his head. “This is nuts. You’re trying to keep this pregnancy under wraps and, yet, you’re going to drive across several states with Exhibit A in the back seat.”

“Well, I’m not riding in the trunk!” Rodney said.

“Well, obviously not. You probably won’t fit for one thing.” O’Neill massaged the bridge of his nose as if he could feel a headache coming on. “I meant that you’ll be out in the open longer. You’ll need to stop for meals and book into at least a couple of motels. Then there will be the frequent stops you’ll need to make, so the pregnant man can stretch his legs and relieve himself.”

Sheppard glanced at O’Neill in the rear-view mirror. “I know it’s not ideal, sir, but we’re going to try to eliminate the risks whenever possible,” he said. “We’ll be getting a lot of takeout, which Rodney, at least, will be eating in the car. Rodney will also stay in the car when we’re signing into motels – the smaller, the better – and go to his room after we’ve been given the key. We’ll leave early in the morning, making sure Rodney’s in the car before too many people are up and about.”

“And when it comes to the inevitable call of nature?” O’Neill asked.

“Sheppard is going to try to stick to the backroads as much as possible,” Rodney said. “We’re hoping we’ll encounter a lot of trees, but I’ve also brought something in case of emergencies.” He lifted a large plastic bottle, which O’Neill eyed in horror. “What? The men in deep submersibles pee in bottles, and no one gives them grief for it.”

O’Neill ran a hand across his face. “I know I’m going to regret saying this, but you’ll probably save some time if you don’t drop me off in Washington.” Three pairs of eyes turned to stare at him. The fourth pair widened in the rear-view mirror, but, otherwise, remained focused on the road. O’Neill shrugged. “It’s been ages since I’ve eaten crappy food and stayed in bad motels. It should be fun.”

Carter grinned at him. “You just want to get out of all that paperwork that’s been piling up on your desk.”

“Well, yes,” O’Neill said. “There’s that too.”


~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~


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