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Title: Dogsbody (11/13)
Author: Rusty Armour
Pairing: Lester/Quinn
Summary: Lester is forced to depend on the people around him when he finds himself in a strange and startling predicament.
Word Count: 3,693
Rating: Slash, PG-13
Spoilers: S3 in general
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters or the shiny prehistoric creatures. I just played with them for a while and then returned them to the toy chest.
A/N: I was inspired to write this fic after reading [livejournal.com profile] knitekat’s Under the Moonlight, the first story in the Under the Moonlight wolfverse. Although I had intended to post this as a serial, the original plan was to finish the story first, as I swore to myself that I wouldn’t commit another crime of WIP. However, as so often happens, this story ended up being longer and more complicated than I’d imagined. Reality has also been rearing its ugly head and there are other commitments I can’t put off any longer, so…WIP. Well, at least this time, a large portion of the story has already been written, so I think most of the posts should be delivered in a timely fashion.

This is a sequel to Ps & Qs and Better Late Than Never, though this could probably be read as a stand-alone. As you’ll quickly realize, this story is complete crack and unapologetically self-indulgent. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this – probably too much fun. *g*

I’d like to give a big thanks to [livejournal.com profile] lukadreaming for the Brit-check beta.






Lester knew that Connor was probably used to sleeping in on a Sunday, but he would have thought that the mug of coffee on the table would have woken him up by now. As it was, Connor was plugged into his iPod and so deeply engrossed in his work, that he didn’t notice the cushions shifting when Lester sprang up on the settee. In fact, Connor didn’t notice the German shepherd and his penetrating gaze until he reached out for his coffee and his arm brushed against a very hairy chest.

“Aaaaaah!” Connor started violently, almost knocking his laptop on the floor. Then he placed a hand over his heart and glared at Lester. “Are you trying to kill me? You scared me half to death!”

Only half? Pity. I’ll have to try harder next time.

Connor picked up his mug and gulped down some coffee. “It’s not that it isn’t great to see you, Lester…”

Lester stared pointedly at the keyboard then nudged it with his paw. Connor brought up Notepad and waited patiently while Lester typed.

found anything

Connor grimaced. “Um…not exactly,” he said. Then he was raising his hands defensively as his boss literally growled at him. “Look, I’m sorry, but London’s a big city. There are lots of places an insane woman can hide. And, yes, I’ve been tracking all the recent anomalies that have popped up in or near London. I’ve tracked every anomaly that has appeared in the last six months. Danny and Becker have checked out most of them, but there’s been no sign of any lab Anna Taylor might have been using, or any sign of Anna Taylor herself.” Connor sighed and rubbed a hand across his face. “Danny was talking about checking out warehouses – abandoned or otherwise – before the, um, last anomaly alert.”

Yes, well, I very much doubt he’s pursuing that line of inquiry now. He’s probably working on his letter of resignation if he hasn’t written it already.

“Hey, we’re not giving up, so you can’t give up either,” Connor said.

Lester’s eyes snapped back to Connor’s face, and he realized that Connor must have read something in his body language – a sadness the dog couldn’t hide.

After all of the emotional turmoil of yesterday, Lester didn’t think he could face any more heart-to-heart conversations. He jumped off the settee and left Connor to his work.

Lester wandered into the kitchen to find a snack – namely dry dog food. What he really wanted to do was go for a walk. Despite his long trek from Chesham Bois Wood to High Wycombe, Lester found he had all of this pent-up energy he couldn’t release. Even if Abby had been willing to allow him to go for a proper walk, she wasn’t around at the moment because she’d gone off to run some errands. He had seen neither hide nor hair of Becker and Sarah. He could only assume that they were off doing whatever it was they did on a Sunday. Lester tried to remember what he used to do on a Sunday before he entered the civil service and became a father.

When Lester returned to the living room, Connor’s eyes were glued to his computer screen again, while Sid was rummaging through the entertainment unit, yanking LPs out of the cupboards. Barking, Lester ran towards the diictodon, skidding across the floor and almost tripping over a record in the process.

Lester’s jaws were about to close around Sid’s tail when his eyes fell on one of the albums. It was Pink Floyd’s Animals, an album purchased by a much younger James Lester during his progressive rock phase. He wasn’t sure why it had caught his eye. The album cover was practically iconic, and he’d seen the image of the tiny pink pig floating above Battersea Power Station countless times. Then it hit him: he wasn’t the only one who had recognized what was on the album cover.

Concentrating on the image, Lester tried to track a memory that wasn’t his. It took a moment, but, then, suddenly, it was flashing before him.

He was being led somewhere on a leash. He couldn’t recognize any of the scents around him and he was frightened of all the strange noises. But the woman who had saved him from the bad place was with him. He liked her because she didn’t hit him and gave him lots of food to eat. Maybe there would be food where they were going.

They were approaching a large building. He had never seen such a big building before. It hung over everything around it. He didn’t like the building, but the woman seemed determined to go in.


Lester started in surprise. Anna Taylor had taken the dog to Battersea Power Station? Why would she do that? Battersea Power Station had been dormant for years. What could Anna Taylor possibly find of interest there?

Lester looked down at the LP again, studying the distinctive rectangular building with its four chimneys. Then the answer came to him. It wasn’t what was inside the building that mattered: it was the building itself. All that unused space that could easily house a lab or any of the hi-tech equipment Anna Taylor might need, such as that horrible machine of hers. She would have needed to bribe the security guards, but that wouldn’t have been a problem. If she was anything like Helen Cutter, she had not only paid them off but had sweet-talked them into joining her side as well.

Forgetting all about the diictodon in the cabinet, Lester grabbed the Pink Floyd album and flew towards Connor, almost landing in Connor’s lap as he launched himself on to the settee. Connor cried out in alarm and just managed to grab his laptop before it fell.

“Thanks for not sneaking up on me this time,” Connor said, sounding somewhat breathless.

Lester dropped the Pink Floyd album in Connor’s lap and barked.

Connor gaped at the LP in astonishment. “No way! You listen to Pink Floyd?”

Lester poked the laptop impatiently, and Connor shoved it towards him.

anna taylor

“What about her?” Connor asked.

Lester snarled and prodded at the image of Battersea Power Station on the album cover.

Connor stared at Lester in confusion. “Anna Taylor likes Pink Floyd too?”

Lester gave two sharp barks.

Connor tried again. “Has Anna Taylor joined Pink Floyd? No, wait. That’s mad. Pink Floyd hasn’t gone on tour in years.”

Lester started punching fiercely on the keyboard with his paw.

battersea power station you idiot

“What about it?” Connor asked.

her lair you cretin

its in battersea power station

Connor’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? How do you know? Is it the dog? Did he remember?”

Lester barked excitedly. Yes!

Connor set aside his laptop and stood up quickly. “I’d better make some phone calls.”


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



Sarah was the first to arrive, which came as something of a surprise to Lester. It wasn’t that she was a tardy person – no more than any of the other scientists on his staff. He had just assumed that she didn’t particularly like him that much and wouldn’t be rushing back to the flat. Perhaps she had simply been closest and her early arrival was a coincidence. What wasn’t a coincidence was the little cardboard box she set in front of Lester as she sat down on the settee. The box was taped shut, but Lester could smell the delicious aroma of peanut butter wafting through the air. “I never thanked you for saving my life,” Sarah said, “so here’s a tiny token of my appreciation.”

You’re welcome. Open the box.

“They’re homemade. I picked them up at this specialty pet shop.” Sarah patted the box, but made no move to open it.

What are you waiting for? Christmas?

“I wasn’t sure which flavour you’d like best, so I chose peanut butter,” Sarah said. “I mean, who doesn’t like peanut butter, right?”

Yes, yes, peanut butter’s great. Open the damn box already!

“Oh, no!” Sarah gasped. “You’re not allergic to peanuts, are you?” She bit her lip anxiously. “I never even considered that…”

Lester began gnawing on the corner of the box, hoping Sarah would get the message. Thankfully, the direct approach seemed to work, as Sarah peeled the tape off the box and opened the lid. “I should probably take this to the kitchen,” Sarah said. “We’ll put one biscuit in your bowl now and save the rest for later.”

One paltry biscuit for your knight in shining armour? Not bloody likely, Dr. Page! Lester thrust his head in the box and devoured the entire contents.

Sarah’s jaw dropped. “Lester! I-I can’t believe you just did that! Those biscuits were supposed to last a couple days, not a couple seconds!” She wagged a finger at Lester and fixed him with what Lester assumed was the look she reserved for the kids at the museum. “I had no idea you were such a…a glutton! We’d better find your real body before you’re too fat to walk!”

“Umm…what’s going on?” Connor asked. After answering the door, he had headed straight to the kitchen to brew some more coffee.

“He’s like a canine hoover!” Sarah cried. “He sucked up all the dog biscuits in this box!”

Connor glanced at the empty box and shrugged. “Yeah? So?” When Sarah glared at him, Connor said, “Oh, wasn’t he supposed to? I mean, he did save your life, didn’t he?”

Sarah crossed her arms. “I’m beginning to think that was just the dog.”

“Well, then,” Connor said, “maybe it was the dog that ate all the biscuits.”

Sarah looked at Lester and shook her head. “No, that wasn’t the dog. It was Lester. I know it was Lester.”

Lester gazed up at Sarah forlornly and started to whine.

“No! Don’t even think of trying that on me!” Sarah snatched the empty box and stood up. “I’m going to check on the coffee. It must be ready by now.”

Connor took the spot Sarah had vacated and grinned at Lester. “You really know how to clear a room, don’t you?”

Lester barked once and wagged his tail.

There was soon a knock on the door, and Abby was entering the flat. Becker arrived a few minutes later, accepting a mug of coffee from Sarah with a grateful smile. There was no sign of Danny.

“I called at Danny’s flat, but he wasn’t there,” Becker said.

Connor frowned. “Where is he? I’ve tried phoning him three times, but I haven’t been able to get through.”

Becker glanced quickly at Lester. “He must have switched off his mobile.”

“I’m sure he must have turned it off for a good reason,” Sarah said.

Yes, he’s avoiding me, Lester thought.

Abby scratched behind Lester’s ears. “He’ll be back,” she whispered.

Lester wanted to believe her, but he didn’t share her spirit of optimism. Unable to bear Abby’s sympathy, he looked away and found Becker studying his surroundings.

“What happened?” Becker asked. “It looks as if your flat was hit by a small tornado.”

Lester eyed the LPs scattered across the floor and growled. It was worse than a tornado. It was Sid.

Connor smiled sheepishly. “Umm…that was Sid. He’s been locked up in the spare room with Nancy.” He shot an apologetic look at Lester. “I’m sure nothing was seriously damaged. Besides, if it hadn’t been for Sid, the dog wouldn’t have remembered where Anna Taylor is.” When everyone gazed at Connor curiously, he lifted up Lester’s copy of Animals.

“Lester listens to Pink Floyd?” Becker said.

Sarah stared at the album in amazement. “Lester’s heard of Pink Floyd.”

Becker rolled his eyes. “Well, of course he’s heard of Pink Floyd. Everyone’s heard of Pink Floyd.”

Abby grinned down at Lester. “All right, Lester! Rock on!” She held out her hand, and Lester reluctantly gave her five.

Connor cleared his throat. “Umm…not to change the subject…”

Becker nodded sharply. “Right. We need a plan of attack. Battersea Power Station is a big place. I’m going to need all my men – ”

Lester barked twice.

Becker raised an eyebrow. “Sir, we don’t know what kind of defences Anna Taylor has set up. If we go in hard, we’ll be able to take care of any men she might have posted.”

Lester gave two more barks, and Connor placed his laptop on the settee. Once Lester had finished typing, Connor leaned over and read out what was on the screen. “‘If she sees us coming, she’ll run. We have to employ stealth.’”

“I can have men covering the exits,” Becker said. “We’ll make sure she can’t escape.”

Lester was about to start typing again when Connor voiced his concerns for him. “The anomaly she came through could be in Battersea Power Station.”

“But wouldn’t we have picked it up?” Sarah asked.

“Maybe she’s shielding her anomaly the same way Christine Johnson did,” Connor said. “If it’s inside the building, it would be easier to hide it, especially if the building isn’t being used.”

Becker sipped his coffee and thought about what Connor had said. “Okay, we won’t go in with guns blazing, but I’ll need to bring at least a few men.”

Lester barked once. That was a perfectly reasonable request, especially when they didn’t know what Anna Taylor might have in store for them.

Becker set down his coffee and regarded Lester seriously. “Sir, you’re not going to like this, but it’s got to be said all the same.” He took a deep breath. “I think you should stay behind.”

Becker was right. Lester didn’t like it. He barked twice and threw in some snarling for good measure.

Becker raised a hand placatingly. “Sir, you’re injured, an easy target, and it’s pretty obvious that Anna Taylor wants you to suffer.”

Lester banged furiously on the keyboard then shoved the laptop towards Connor.

“Lester says, ‘It’s only a scratch, I’m not an easy target because I’m smaller and faster than you, and Anna Taylor’s intentions towards me are completely irrelevant.’” Connor stared at Lester in disbelief. “It’s more than a scratch and you know it, Lester. Your ‘injury’ is going to slow you down, so you will make an easier target. And if you think Anna Taylor’s intentions towards you are irrelevant then you need to get your head examined.” Connor shot a pleading look at Abby. “Explain to him why he can’t come.”

Abby shook her head. “I agree with Lester. I think he should come.”

“What?” Connor cried.

Really?

“We don’t know what state his body – his own body – is in,” Abby said. “I’m going to assume it’s been put on life-support, but there could still be problems. There’s the risk of oxygen toxicity or pneumonia, not to mention bed sores.” Abby looked down at her hands for an instant. “When we find his body, we might need to transfer his consciousness quickly.”

“But what if Lester’s body has been stashed away in a hospital?” Connor asked.

“Or worse – not on life-support at all,” Becker added. “Who’s to say that Anna Taylor didn’t dispose of the body? Why keep it alive?”

“Because she’s a scientist at heart,” Sarah said. “Think about it. She could have got her revenge in more ways than any of us could possibly imagine, but she chose to make Lester part of an experiment.” Sarah sighed as she was met by blank stares. “Don’t you get it? Anna Taylor has a thirst for knowledge as well as vengeance. She’ll keep the body alive, and close to her, because she’ll want to know if the transfer works both ways and if she can return Lester’s consciousness to his own brain. I mean, surely she wouldn’t have gone to all this trouble if she hadn’t intended to study him.”

Becker’s eyes widened and he turned sharply to Abby. “Did Danny – ?”

“Yes, he checked for cameras and bugs – here and at the ARC,” Abby said.

Becker didn’t even try to hide his relief. “Okay, good. That’s good.” He glanced at Sarah. “And you think Anna Taylor will be keeping Lester’s body with her? Well, that might make our job a little easier – for once.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Connor asked.

“Considering the urgency of the situation, I think we need to go in as soon as possible,” Becker said.

Lester hopped off the settee and ran to the front door.

Becker gazed at Lester in amusement. “Or now. Now would work.”


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



Lester quickly realized that Becker’s definition of “now” differed drastically from his own. It turned out that “now” was actually two hours later.

Before they could head to Battersea Power Station, they had to go to the ARC. Becker insisted that they have a meeting to plan the mission and then he needed to brief the men he had selected. There was also the time it took for the soldiers to kit up in the armoury. As far as Lester was concerned, it all took far too long.

By the time they finally left the ARC, Lester was barely able to contain his impatience, nervousness and excitement. However, when they reached Battersea Power Station, Lester found that he was forced to wait even longer as Becker and his men performed a quick check of the perimeter. Becker returned about 15 minutes later and squeezed into the back seat of the car where Lester was sitting with Abby.

“We took care of three security guards patrolling the perimeter,” Becker said. “They’ve been trussed up and thrown in the back of one of the SUVs. As they haven’t demanded to know who we are or what we want, I assume they work for the enemy.” He smiled for a moment before his expression grew serious. “Sir, with your permission, I’d like to go in and secure the premises. Then, once we’ve captured Anna Taylor – ”

Lester gave two loud barks. Oh, no. You’re not leaving me behind. Not if there’s any chance that bitch could escape.

Becker glanced down at the plastic bag Abby had wrapped around Lester’s bandaged paw and sighed. “Well, I had to try. You’ll at least remember what we discussed and allow me and my men to go in first, won’t you, sir?”

Lester barked once. Carry on, Captain.

“Right. It looks like we’re going in.” Becker climbed out of the car and held the door open for Lester. However, Abby stopped Lester before he could exit the vehicle.

“Stay close to me and Connor, okay?” Abby said.

Although Lester was tired of being coddled, he knew that Abby was only looking after his best interests. He barked quickly and leapt out of the car.

They decided to hit A Station first. As Lester had never been inside Battersea Power Station before, he was surprised by the parquet floors and the wrought iron staircases. There was no immediate sign of any habitation in the building, and footfalls echoed as they made their way through the long empty boiler room.

Lester was beginning to fear that he’d been wrong and had somehow conjured up the dog’s memory from his imagination, when they heard the sound of a woman’s voice coming from the control room. Becker instantly raised a hand and everyone froze – everyone, that is, except Lester. Before anyone could stop him, Lester took off for the control room.

The first thing to catch Lester’s eyes was the armed guards that had been positioned throughout the control room. Lester could only count six of them, but they were big burly men who probably had no qualms about killing a dog. This might have concerned Lester if he hadn’t just caught sight of Anna Taylor. She was bending over an all-too familiar man on an all-too familiar camp-bed.

His body had been placed on a ventilator, and Lester didn’t know if he should be relieved or horrified by all the tubes and wires. A low growl emanated from his throat.

“Ah, I wondered when you might drop in, James.” Anna was no longer examining the body, but had turned to face her intruder. She smiled brightly, which only made Lester hate her more. Her smile widened when the rest of Lester’s team burst into the room. “Oh, good. I was hoping your friends might join us.”

Lester heard the sound of several safety catches being released and didn’t have to turn around to know that the guards and soldiers were staring each other down.

“Ah,” Anna said, “it looks like your friends have their hands full. Never mind. I was rather hoping we could have a little chat first – just the two of us.” She moved to the head of the camp-bed, and Lester couldn’t help flinching when she ran a finger across the stubbled cheek of his human body. “You’d be amazed how long someone can be kept alive with the right medical equipment. I’m sure this body could be sustained for months – possibly even years – if it’s looked after properly.”

Lester barked twice, even though he knew it was pointless.

Anna laughed. “I don’t know what you just said, James, but I hardly have to be Doctor Dolittle to see how cross you are. Luckily, I’ve come up with just the thing to make you feel better.” She crouched down, so that she was closer to Lester’s level, and lowered her voice. “I think I can get my hands on three German shepherd puppies.”

Lester tilted his head in confusion. What?

“I’m not without compassion, James,” Anna said. “I know you must be missing your children terribly, but if I could transfer their minds into those three puppies you could be one big happy family.” She laughed again and the sound echoed around the control room. Then she was screaming as Lester’s teeth sank into her arm.

Lester could hear Abby and Connor shouting at him to let go, but Lester had no intention of releasing Anna Taylor. They would have to pry him off her first. Nothing else would make him surrender – or, at least, that’s what he thought before the shot rang out and pain tore through him like fire.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



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