rusty_armour (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rusty_armour) wrote2010-09-21 11:07 pm
rusty_armour) wrote2010-09-21 11:07 pm
Entry tags:
Photo Essay: By the Pricking of My Thumbs, Something Wicked This Way Comes (2/2)
Title: By the Pricking of My Thumbs, Something Wicked This Way Comes (2/2)
Photographer/Essayist: Rusty Armour
Summary: A dark force emerges to wreak havoc in
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
rusty_armour’s abode. Category: Slashy, Action Figures, Crossover of Doctor Who, Enterprise, Primeval, Robin of Sherwood, Sherlock Holmes, Stargate Atlantis
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Uh…possibly several?
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, with the exception of Giant Hand, Earhart and Lester!Dog. It’s not worth suing me because I have no real money to speak of – except that treasure I buried in Bluffer’s Park.
P/E Notes: Usually, I write a fic for
jackycomelately’s birthday, but this year I’ve had to go with a “photo essay” instead, as I’ve now retired from fic writing. And I’m actually posting this early because I’m taking a little trip to Ottawa on the special day. 
After flying Sheppard and McKay up to the kitchen counter, K-9 parted from the two men, informing them that he had important business to attend to on Enterprise. As K-9 flew off, Sheppard looked at his watch and saw that it was the time when Archer usually took K-9 on his afternoon walk. Sheppard decided to keep this little detail from McKay as he already seemed pissed off that K-9 had abandoned them. But, then, McKay seemed to forget about K-9 as he spotted a certain feline on the other side of the sink.
Well, it looks like we beat Sherlock to it, Sheppard thought, as he watched McKay scoop Earhart into his arms. Then his brow furrowed as he noticed that there was no sign of Lester, the Master or Giant Hand. Curious, Sheppard started to make his way towards McKay. It was only as he was crossing to the other side of the sink that he noticed the basin full of bubbles with Giant Hand, tied and bound by elastic bands, bobbing helplessly inside.
“Holy crap!” Sheppard cried. “How’d you end up in there?” He ran to the far side of the sink and lay down on his belly, trying to reach Giant Hand. He glanced over his shoulder at McKay, who was cuddling his cat. “Uh, a little help would be nice, Rodney.” When McKay ignored him in favour of scratching Earhart under his chin, Sheppard returned his attention back to the basin and gaped at Giant Hand in horror. She had sunk almost completely under the water.
“Rodney, get your ass over here!” Sheppard shouted. “Giant Hand’s about to drown!”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” McKay said. “A hand can’t drown. It doesn’t have lungs. Giant Hand might end up being a dishpan hand, but that’s probably the worse thing that will happen to her.”
Sheppard glared at McKay. “She’s tied up with elastic bands as well, so there’s her circulation to consider.”
McKay sighed. “Fine. I’ll help you get her out.” He set Earhart down carefully and stretched down on the wet counter with a grimace.
It took quite a bit of effort, and a certain amount of flexibility, but, eventually, Sheppard and McKay were able to haul Giant Hand out of the basin. Then they worked on freeing her from her bonds, leaping backwards when Giant Hand sprang into an upright position.
“Umm…are you okay?” McKay asked.
“Where is she?” Giant Hand snarled.
Sheppard exchanged a quick glance with McKay before speaking. “Do you mean that hand-shaped creature wearing the black glove?”
Giant Hand drummed her fingers impatiently on the counter. “My evil twin sister? Yes.”
McKay stared at Giant Hand in confusion. “Evil twin sister…? Oh! She’s the left hand, right?”
“No, not the left hand right – just the left,” Giant Hand said. “I’m the right hand.” She leaned closer to McKay and Sheppard. “And do you know why I’m the right hand?”
McKay gulped. “No, ma’am.”
“I’m the right hand because I’m going to right some wrongs – starting with my evil twin!” Giant Hand spun around and flexed her fingers menacingly into claws.
“Uh, do you think you could give us a lift before you go off to seek your revenge?” Sheppard asked.
Lester was finding it increasingly difficult to ignore the Master. He usually prided himself on his ability to shoot people down with a sharp retort or a cold glare, but the Master seemed immune. In fact, the more Lester tried to shun him, the more determined the Master became.
Laying a hand on Lester’s sleeve, the Master said, “James, James, James. I only wish to help you find your true potential. You’re wasted at the ARC. You could do so much more than babysit a group of scientists who get their knickers in a twist every time they see a dinosaur.”
Lester’s head swivelled swiftly. “How do you know about the ARC?”
The Master flashed his patented politician’s grin, and Lester had his answer.
“Oh, right,” Lester said. “You were Prime Minister for two minutes.”
The Master’s grin disappeared, and Lester wondered if he had pushed him too far. Then the Master laughed and punched Lester in the arm. “Yes, my political career was rather short-lived. I’ve come to the conclusion that my talents are better served in an advisory capacity.”
Lester raised an eyebrow. “Puppet master, you mean.”
The Master shrugged. “If you like. The exact term is unimportant. What matters is that I get the job done.”
Lester tried to resist, but he was bored and his curiosity had been piqued. “And who would be your puppet in this grand scheme?”
The Master smiled serenely. “Why, you, of course.”
Lester’s eyes widened. “What?”
“You’d be perfect,” the Master said. “You’ve dealt with a number of high-ranking politicians over the years. You understand how the system works and you know how to play the game.” He pressed closer to Lester. “Think of all the suits you’d own if you were Prime Minister. You’d have whole cupboards full.”
“Really?” Lester asked.
“Oh, yes,” the Master whispered. “And just think of all those ties: silk ties, striped ties, ties with tiny polka dots…”
“What about braces?” Lester demanded. “I’d need plenty of those.”
“Of course,” the Master said. “You’d have a whole room devoted to braces alone.” He looked over his shoulder as if someone might be listening then lowered his voice. “I’ll even see to it personally that you have a special pair to wear on your first visit to the Queen.”
“Ooooh!” Lester exclaimed. “The Queen has all those corgis, doesn’t she?” He smiled dreamily. “They’re such lovely dogs with their bright eyes, pointy ears, and little wet noses. They move as fast as they can, bless them, but they’re never quite able to keep up with an 84-year-old woman. But they’d all gather just the same, with wagging tails and lolling tongues. They’d say, ‘Hello, Prime Minister’ in that yapping bark of theirs, and I’d say – ”
“Hello! Is anyone up here?” Giant radioactive Sherlock Holmes’s head emerged and he studied the two prisoners in interest.
“It’s about bloody time!” the Master shouted. “This man is completely insane! I’m insane myself, so I know the symptoms.”
Giant radioactive Sherlock Holmes glanced at Lester, and Lester gave him a quick wink before kneeling down to greet Lester!Dog. Giant radioactive Sherlock Holmes smiled briefly around his pipe, though his face was completely serious when he regarded the Master again.
“I believe you may have to find a new Faust for your political machinations,” Giant radioactive Sherlock Holmes said.
The Master’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know about that?”
“It is my business to know what other people don’t know.” Giant radioactive Sherlock Holmes took a contented puff from his pipe. “I may have also heard part of your conversation as I climbed up here.” He glanced at Lester again and was appalled to see Toby lying on his back having his belly rubbed. “Ah, yes. Perhaps it would be best if we – ”
Other Giant Hand suddenly flew past, snatching up giant radioactive Sherlock Holmes before he could finish his sentence and carrying him away from the makeshift prison cell. However, they only made it as far as the bed, when giant radioactive Sherlock Holmes was torn from Other Giant Hand’s grasp and thrown to the mattress. He just managed to roll away, when both Giant Hand and Other Giant Hand landed on the bed.
At this point in the “photo essay,” you may be wondering how the fight between Giant Hand and Other Giant Hand might play out. In fact, you might be picturing a truly epic match, such as the one seen below:
BITCH!!!
SQUEEZE
WRESTLE
THWACK
PIN
POUND
“Kroykah!” Sheppard and McKay both shouted. They had been watching from the sidelines and didn’t like the direction the fight was taking. While Other Giant Hand had cunning and stealth, Giant Hand had greater dexterity and strength on her side. Given Giant Hand’s fiery temper, they weren’t sure how far she might go to satisfy her vengeance.
McKay tried to make Giant Hand see reason. "You two need each other. Giant Hand, if you lost Other Giant Hand, you'd never be able to play the piano again."
"I can't play the piano now," Giant Hand growled. She drew back again, intending to deliver another blow, when Sheppard interrupted her.
“But you can type, can’t you?” Sheppard said. “Or, at least, you could before you decided that you wanted to pulverize your twin sister.”
Giant Hand hesitated, clearly torn. “Maybe I can type with one hand.”
McKay snorted. “You could but you’d be a lot slower. Just think of all the time you’d save if Other Giant Hand continued to assist you.”
Other Giant Hand addressed her sister meekly. “I could do that.”
“Hmm,” Giant Hand said. She released the fist, and everyone held their breath, wondering what her next move would be. Then, the index finger was out, and Giant Hand was waving it at her sister. “You’d better behave from now on or else.”
They worked together.
They played together.
Giant Hand even let Other Giant Hand choose which DVDs they should watch.
And she was happy to discover that they both had the same taste in movies.
Unfortunately, this fragile truce couldn’t last. It fell apart spectacularly when an extremely attractive one-armed man moved in next door. But that’s a
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“Rodney, get your ass over here!” Sheppard shouted. “Giant Hand’s about to drown!” Okay, this is best line ever because you have his voice down perfectly. Adding Giant Hand just makes it hilarious!
Other Giant Hand! Other Giant Hand! Oh my god! Fight scene! Love the Pow! Bam! Biff! sequence.
Okay, did you just use an empty glove or did you get your mother to help with the photographs? I'm pretty sure you don't have three hands!
Superman call out! Of course there is!
"It fell apart spectacularly when an extremely attractive one-armed man moved in next door." Oh the angst! Oh the angst! So close to perfect happiness only to be denied by fate!
This is wonderful
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As soon as I imagined a battle between both sisters, I started hearing the music from that "Amok Time" fight. You know what I mean? Dah-dah dah-dah-dah-dah DAH DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH! *g*
And the wagging finger! I'm sure that means something particularly awful in hand language!
Oh, gee! I hadn't thought of that! You could be right, though. I wouldn't put it past Giant Hand to pull a stunt like that.
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LOLOLOL! "Bondage hand"! Your reaction has me in stitches! *g* Well, at the risk of giving away my trade secrets (*snort*), I simply took the pictures using my left hand. It wasn't easy, but it could be done.
“Rodney, get your ass over here!” Sheppard shouted. “Giant Hand’s about to drown!” Okay, this is best line ever because you have his voice down perfectly. Adding Giant Hand just makes it hilarious!
I'm glad Sheppard sounded like Sheppard. I'm a bit out of practice with these two, though the voices came back to me surprisingly quickly.
Other Giant Hand! Other Giant Hand! Oh my god! Fight scene! Love the Pow! Bam! Biff! sequence.
Yay! I'm happy that worked for you! :-D
Okay, did you just use an empty glove or did you get your mother to help with the photographs? I'm pretty sure you don't have three hands!
LOLOLOL! Actually, my mom did end up helping me as she gave me the idea of how to shoot it. I was explaining to her about how I wanted to have this fight sequence between Giant Hand and Other Giant Hand. I figured that she would just tune me out, but then she suggested that I simply stuff the glove with something so that my left hand wouldn't have to be in it. I used the allergy sufferer's secret weapon (tissues) and stuffed Other Giant Hand. So, now you know my special effects secret. *g*
Superman call out! Of course there is!
I have absolutely no shame. *g*
"It fell apart spectacularly when an extremely attractive one-armed man moved in next door." Oh the angst! Oh the angst! So close to perfect happiness only to be denied by fate!
Well, it's possible the extremely attactive one-armed man might move again. Or maybe he has an equally attractive brother who may or may not possess both limbs... *VBG*
This is wonderful
I'm so happy to hear it! Happy EARLY Birthday once again,
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>>>Actually, my mom did end up helping me as she gave me the idea of how to shoot it. I was explaining to her about how I wanted to have this fight sequence between Giant Hand and Other Giant Hand. I figured that she would just tune me out, but then she suggested that I simply stuff the glove with something so that my left hand wouldn't have to be in it. I used the allergy sufferer's secret weapon (tissues) and stuffed Other Giant Hand. So, now you know my special effects secret. *g* <<<
You completely fooled me. I didn't guess that it was a StuntDouble!EvilTwin!Hand! stuffed with kleenex. Ingenious! LOL! I thought you'd put the camera on a tripod and set a timer.
Thanks for sending me the link to your photo essay, Rusty!
Oh, and happy birthday, Jackycomelately! (And thanks for sharing your birthday present with Rusty's other cyberfriends! Feels like a party, doesn't it? Now, if the Dalek would just play more music, we could shake our booties... Conga, anyone?)
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Well, once I decided to include Giant Hand, the next logical (or, perhaps not so logical) step was to introduce the EvilTwin!Hand. *g*
>>Actually, my mom did end up helping me as she gave me the idea of how to shoot it. I was explaining to her about how I wanted to have this fight sequence between Giant Hand and Other Giant Hand. I figured that she would just tune me out, but then she suggested that I simply stuff the glove with something so that my left hand wouldn't have to be in it. I used the allergy sufferer's secret weapon (tissues) and stuffed Other Giant Hand. So, now you know my special effects secret. *g* <<<
You completely fooled me. I didn't guess that it was a StuntDouble!EvilTwin!Hand! stuffed with kleenex. Ingenious! LOL! I thought you'd put the camera on a tripod and set a timer.
LOL! You're giving me more credit (in terms of both intelligence and photography skills) than I deserve! *g* Still, it's cool that I was able to fool you. I assumed that everyone would see through my tissue of lies! ;-)
Thanks for sending me the link to your photo essay, Rusty!
No problem! Thanks for taking the time to read it! :-)
Oh, and happy birthday, Jackycomelately! (And thanks for sharing your birthday present with Rusty's other cyberfriends! Feels like a party, doesn't it? Now, if the Dalek would just play more music, we could shake our booties... Conga, anyone?)
Well, if the Dalek won't play what you want, you could try talking to McKay. I'm sure he'd be happy to do some more tinkering. *g*
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Oh dear! Giant hand in the sink! Lester and the Master! Giant radioactive Sherlock Holmes knowing all.
This was great - thanks for linking me. Jackycomelately is quite a lucky birthday-person! xD
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Oh dear! Giant hand in the sink! Lester and the Master! Giant radioactive Sherlock Holmes knowing all.
I'm glad you got a kick out of the second part as well,
This was great - thanks for linking me.
As you enjoyed the previous episodes of "Action Figure Theatre," it seemed only right to give you the heads up about this particular production. :-)
Jackycomelately is quite a lucky birthday-person! xD
Some might argue that receiving a present like this is anything but lucky. However, I'm happy to say that the birthday girl really seemed to enjoy it. :-D
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Hee! That's a good thing!
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I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the Master and Lester bits. I was hoping that Primeval/Lester fans might get a kick out of that scene.
And the fight! Great photos.
Yes, the fight turned out rather well, if I do say so myself. I have to give my mom partial credit for her very helpful suggestion for staging it. :-)
Thanks for sending me the link and happy birthday to jackycomelately.
I knew you'd probably enjoy seeing Lester and Lester!Dog again, so I was very happy to send you the link. Oh, and thanks for wishing
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I loved Rodney with the cat, and the two hands fighting, and Lester's cunning plan to fool the master with all that talk of ties and braces!
Thanks for pointing out that there was a second part! I'd hate to have missed this. *big doggy grin*
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Thanks for taking the time to read this,
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Love the icon btw! :-)
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You have
single-handedlydouble-handedly created a New Art Form!*adores Herne Bear.... iz not worthy*
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Whey-hey! ALL your fandoms smooshed up, together with some hawt plastic.
LOL! I couldn't have said it better myself! *g*
You have
single-handedlydouble-handedly created a New Art Form!While I'd love to take credit for a New Art Form, I'm afraid I wasn't the first person to incorporate action figures into fic or, uh, photo essays. All the same, I'm very happy you enjoyed this. Thanks for taking the time to read this bizarre entry. :-)
I've written two other works that have involved action figures. You can find them at the links below if you're feeling curious and/or drunk:
To Boldly Go Where No Action Figure Has Quite Gone Before (http://rusty-armour.livejournal.com/24765.html)
The Crazy Kitty Caper or the Grand Adventures of Pirate John (http://rusty-armour.livejournal.com/42993.html)
*adores Herne Bear.... iz not worthy*
Oh, you're totally worthy, especially considering that you're an RoS fan! It's wonderful that you're one of the special few who get the reference! :-)
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"I can't play the piano now">
*snerk*
Oh, this has made my whole week.
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Thank you! That's very kind! :-D
"I can't play the piano now">
*snerk*
I'm actually amazed that joke got a laugh considering how old it is! *g* Well, I'm glad it amused you. :-)
Oh, this has made my whole week.
Once again, you're much too kind, but I'm very happy you enjoyed it. :-D
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