Doctor Whom & Maurice Parody Sequel -- All In One Frightening Post!

[rusty_armour]

My brother and I just saw a hilarious spoof of Doctor Who at the Comedy Bar called Doctor Whom, which puckrobin was kind enough to tell me about. Described as a "comedy improv homage to Doctor Who," this show stars Scott Montgomery as Doctor Whom doing an excellent impression of the Eleventh Doctor, with bow tie and all. The rest of the cast was also great and added to the hilarity of the show. In fact, the cast was bigger than I expected. I assumed we would be seeing the Doctor, Amy Pond (or, in the case of Doctor Whom, Jamie Lake) and maybe a couple of aliens. However, I was delighted when Captain Jack Harkness (with his electrical tape suspenders) and the Master (with detachable beard) appeared. The script was brilliant, and I thought the cast handled the improv elements wonderfully. Of course, the total geek fangirl in me was thrilled to see a life-sized TARDIS on the stage and I certainly appreciated the sound effects for the sonic screwdriver, even when they weren't always in sync with the action. Somehow, that just worked for the show and seemed appropriate for Doctor Who. *g*

If you're a Doctor Who fan, and you live in the GTA, I definitely recommend Doctor Whom. I would suggest ordering tickets through the Comedy Bar website (as the show is popular), though you can also buy them at the door.

I apologize to anyone who isn't fengirl88 and blooms84, but, as I mentioned in my previous entry, I'm still on Tylenol Cold Plus, so that Maurice parody sequel must be written...








At the House - Twenty Minutes Later

Anne Durham is sitting at her dressing table brushing her hair -- or engaging in some other suitable activity for the wife of a British politician in the early twentieth century. She is startled by a thump outside the window and instantly rises from her chair. Then, she is even more startled when she sees Alec Scudder.

PN: Scudder! I thought I told you that you mustn't visit me unless Clive is out of town! And what are you doing here in the first place? I thought you had sailed off to Argentina or Canada or some other God-forsaken place.

RG: (Scudder climbs through the window, removing his cap once he's inside the bedroom) I'm rightly sorry, ma'am, but I had to come and see you on account of the heated exchange in the garden between your husband and Maurice.

PN: That's Mr. Hall to you, Scudder! I realize you no longer serve as under-gamekeeper, but surely you still know your place.

RG: That I do, ma'am. It's with Maurice in the boathouse in France...or maybe Italy. I haven't made up my mind yet.

PN: (Anne sways slightly and is forced to grasp the dressing table for support) Surely you're not suggesting that Maurice is...that Maurice would...Oh, God. Are you the little girl Maurice has tucked away in London?

RG: (Scudder scowls) Don't be daft. I'm not little and I don't live in London neither. Considering the number of times I've visited you in the night, I thought you'd know that, ma'am.

PN: (Anne blushes) Well, that's just it. I never suspected that you were an invert. Now, if it were Clive, I wouldn't be surprised at all, but you, Scudder. (Anne shakes head forlornly) This will ruin Maurice's career, not to mention his social standing, his position in the community...

RG: Maurice loves me just as I love him. He said he'd give up his career for me. I've already given up mine.

PN: (Anne stares at Scudder as if seeing him for the first time) Is that really the reason you decided to stay? To be with Maurice?

RG: It is, ma'am -- only we're not staying seeing as we'd be arrested and all. That's why Maurice is trying to blackmail Mr. Durham. We need the boathouse to live in because it's our special place. Maurice wants to dismantle it and rebuild it in France or Italy.

PN: Because homosexuality is tolerated in those countries?

RG: Yes, ma'am.

PN: I see. (Anne walks over to the window and looks out into the garden where Maurice and Clive are, indeed, exchanging heated words) Well, once the situation with the boathouse has been sorted, we'll need labourers to handle the dismantling. Then, of course, we'll need men to rebuild the boathouse once you've reached either France or Italy. Oh, and then there's the passage from England itself. I can book the tickets for the crossing. I suppose you'll require a ship with a rather large hold if you're going to be carrying all that wood.

RG: (Scudder stares at Anne in surprise, but quickly recovers) Why, yes, ma'am. I reckon a ship with a large hold is exactly what we'd require.

PN: Very well. I'll see what I can arrange. (Anne looks serious for an instant, but then she breaks into a dazzling smile and takes Scudder's hands in hers) Oh, Alec, it's all so terribly sweet and romantic. I'm so happy that Maurice has found someone, even if that someone is a working class poof who has slept with the entire household.

RG: Not the entire household, ma'am! I ain't never slept with Simcox!

PN: Well, no. I doubt that anyone has. (Anne looks at Scudder and they start to giggle. Then they fly apart as Clive bursts through the door)

HG: Darling, I know you're extremely fond of the man, but Maurice is being a complete - (Clive freezes as he spots Scudder) What are you doing here? You'd better be fixing a leaky roof or moving a piano, you nasty little oik. My God. Did you climb up here with the ladder? How dare you intrude on my wife in this way? What if I'd been here and we'd been enjoying connubial pleasures?

PN: Not bloody likely.

HG: Well, really, Anne! I...I scarcely know what to say.

RG: That must be a first considering he's a politician.

HG: (Clive glares at Scudder) Anne, please tell me that you didn't invite this lower class tart into our bedroom.

PN: No, dear, I didn't. He arrived unannounced.

HG: Well, I'm heartily glad to hear it, Anne.

PN: No, I've only invited Scudder into the bedroom when you've been away. (Anne smiles sweetly at Scudder) Of course, that's all changed now that Scudder and Maurice are going to be living abroad in our boathouse.

HG: (Clive is practically apoplectic) That boathouse has been in my family for generations. If you think I'm going to hand it over to a couple of filthy fornicating whoopsies, I'm afraid you're very much mistaken.

PN: Clive, you're giving them the boathouse and, what's more, you'll be hiring some labourers to dismantle it. If you don't, I shall join the Women's Social and Political Union.

HG: (Clive gasps in horror) You wouldn't!

PN: Oh, I most certainly would.

HG: (Clive gapes at Anne in disbelief then nods jerkily when he sees that she isn't going to back down) Fine. The boathouse was falling apart, anyway. It's about time we built a new one.

PN: (Anne beams at Clive and crosses the room to plant a quick kiss on his cheek) That's excellent, darling. I have some simply smashing ideas for the new boathouse. Let's go to your study and I'll draw a couple of quick sketches to show you what I have in mind.

Anne tugs Clive out of their bedroom, leaving Scudder alone. However, he isn't by himself for long as Maurice appears at the window an instant later.

JW: Alec! What on earth are you doing here? As soon as I saw the ladder, I thought it must be you, but I could barely believe you'd have the nerve to climb up here -- and during the day, no less!

RG: I've been exchanging pleasantries with Mrs. Durham.

JW: Well, that's an improvement on what I was exchanging with Mr. Durham.

RG: I know. I could hear it.

JW: Uh, yes. I'm sorry about that. (Maurice looks down, unable to meet Scudder's eyes) Alec, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but... (Maurice sighs) We won't be getting the boathouse. Clive is being a complete bastard and refusing to let us have it, despite my skilled attempts at blackmail.

RG: That's all right. Mrs. Durham is letting us have it. I explained the situation to her, so she blackmailed Clive for us. They're drawing up plans for a new boathouse as we speak.

JW: You...you told Anne about us?

RG: Well, I had to, didn't I? I could see you weren't getting anywhere with the blackmailing and we need that boathouse.

JW: Alec, I can't decide whether you're brilliant or completely mad.

RG: But you still love me either way, don't you?

JW: (Maurice smiles at Scudder) Come here.

Scudder moves closer to the window, and Maurice grabs him by the shirt to pull him in for a kiss.