Why My Mom Thinks I'm Disturbed

[rusty_armour]

Tonight, my family celebrated my brother's birthday by going out to Pizza Hut. While we were stuffing our faces, my brother pointed out this black & white photograph of a steam engine on the wall behind my parents' heads. He said it might be almost as old as me and I said, "Hey!" However, both the picture and his remark triggered a memory I decided to share. I said to my mom, "I've probably told you this already, but I used to think everything in the past was in black & white."

Both of my parents stared at me blankly and I could almost hear them asking, "What?"

I attempted to explain. "You know how old films and pictures are in black & white? Well, I thought everything in the past must have been that way."

"You thought everything was in black & white?"

"Well, yeah. I was really young at the time." Then I made the mistake of revealing another interesting tidbit. "I also wondered if animals in different countries sound different because people speak in different languages."

I think by that point, my dad had started laughing, while my mom just looked vaguely uncomfortable.

"Come on. You must remember me telling you that before."

"No," my mom said. "I'm pretty sure I would have remembered if you had."

"So did you think the colour fairies suddenly decided one day to paint everything in colour?" my dad asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess."

My mom just stared at me. "When you were a kid, I had no idea when you were so--"

"Neurotic?" I suggested.

"Disturbed," my mom said.

"What? I'm sure there were other kids who thought the same thing. I'm going to ask around and find out."

My mom just gave me this long-suffering look. "I would keep quiet about it if I were you."

She's probably right because she's my mom and mothers have an annoying habit of being that way. In fact, I once joked to her that the only reason women had children was so that they could finally be right. For some reason, my mom didn't think it was funny.

Anywaaaaay, the whole "It was black & white because it was in the past" revelation was a running joke for the rest of the night. Well, until my Uncle G called. As it was 9:45, my mom decided not to pick up, so we got Uncle G's voice on the answering machine instead:

"Hi, K. It's G. I know it's late, but I was printing out C's report on her ghost walk and had to run out to get more paper because it was thirteen pages long."

I covered my face and blushed, though I was laughing all the same. The rest of my family was laughing even harder.

"It must be that long because of the pictures," I said. "The text isn't more than seven or eight pages. And why is he printing it out anyway? I wasn't expecting him to."

My mom provided the most likely scenario. "He was probably printing it out so he could send it to your Uncle S and Aunty A. He likes stirring them up. You should tell them about how the past used to be in black & white. I'm sure they'd enjoy that too."

So...my family now thinks I've even more disturbed than they originally suspected, which is something I didn't think was possible. However, in my defence, I think I've said and done things that are much worse than what I confessed to at Pizza Hut. Maybe my parents blocked it out or something. I sometimes wonder if parents are programmed to do that in order to prevent them from giving up their kids for adoption or leaving them on the side of the road somewhere. I hope aunts and uncles share a similar ability because I'll definitely seem more bizarre to Uncle S and Aunty A if they do read that report on my ghost walk... *g*

Comments

[crew4.livejournal.com]

haha, I can actually see how a kid would think such a think.  So I don't agree with your mum on this one.  At least, that's to say, you're not deranged in this particular case :-)

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad someone sees this as the way a child might think. And I have no problem with you thinking I might be deranged in other ways. *g*

[lazigyrl.livejournal.com]

So there is this Calvin & Hobbes, one of my favourites actually, where Calvin's father is explaining black & white pictures/movies by telling Calvin the worlds used to be in black & white.

Oh and the animal one, I had that one myself... Sound logic really, if you ask me. Not you fault animals don't care about human logic (just ask the bee, it shouldn't be able to fly after all).

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

So there is this Calvin & Hobbes, one of my favourites actually, where Calvin's father is explaining black & white pictures/movies by telling Calvin the worlds used to be in black & white.

Yaaaaay! Another vote for the "It's perfectly reasonable for a child to think this way" side! :-) Actually, it's great that this particular subject was covered in Calvin & Hobbes. I'll make sure to tell my mom.

Oh and the animal one, I had that one myself...Sound logic really, if you ask me. Not you fault animals don't care about human logic (just ask the bee, it shouldn't be able to fly after all).

Double Yaaaaay! :-) It sounds like we were both trying to apply human logic to the animal world before we were old enough to know better. I'm glad I wasn't alone in this respect.

[njc2007.livejournal.com]

All I can say is "Pleasantville". Watch the movie Pleasantville and you will be totally, completely vindicated. 'Nuff said.

Actually, I am going to say more. What the whole conversation tells me is that you are a deeper thinker than the rest. You have given thought to things beyond what they appear. I say, YAY for you.

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

All I can say is "Pleasantville". Watch the movie Pleasantville and you will be totally, completely vindicated. 'Nuff said.

I keep meaning to see "Pleasantville". Looks like I've got even more motivation to check it out now and make sure my mom sees it. ;-)

Actually, I am going to say more. What the whole conversation tells me is that you are a deeper thinker than the rest. You have given thought to things beyond what they appear. I say, YAY for you.

Ooooh! I like that interpretation. I just assumed I thought these things as a kid because I lived in my own world (and still do for the most part) and could be really dense at times. *g*

[inkscribe.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sorry but your mum is being the deranged nitwit here -- that's a perfectly common occurrence with kids nowadays and likely not all that uncommon in the relatively recent past when you were young. When your parents were kids themselves, no one would really question it because so much telly was in black and white still, but these days, everything is full colour, surround sound, etc. with no one actually buying b&w machines for viewing (still avail for some specialty applications but not really as television receivers).

And yes, I recall the Calvin and Hobbes comic with that same reference in it. Also, for your foreign-animal talk story, I've got two references for you:

exhibit one: note that while every language tends to use onomatopoeic words to describe animal sounds, how they're transcribed is unique to the parameters of that language. For example, in English we'd say "meow," but in French we'd say "miaow" and in German, "miau."

exhibit two: Asterix and Obelisk -- they had a comic where their Viking ship came close to that of some other culture's. Each ship had a dog on board. The dogs couldn't initially understand one another because the diacriticals were different (though the base spelling was "woof" for each dog). After exchanging a few 'woof's, the dogs figure out how to 'say' the other's diacriticals and are now smugly bilingual.

Grrr. Sorry. Your parents' attitude really burns me up. As noted by others, your questions/observations are far more indicative of higher-order thinking.

*applauds you*
*turns back on nitwit progenitors*

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

Okay, in my mom's defence, she did later concede that kids of her generation would have been exposed to TV, film and photographs that were in black & white and know that this was normal. And I think my mom doesn't seriously believe that I'm disturbed. Both of my parents have a really good sense of humour and just give me a hard time if I do make statements like the one I made at Pizza Hut. In fact, they're extremely liberal compared to some parents and have had to put up with a lot from all of us, especially me! ;-)

I love your evidence for animals speaking different languages! I hadn't even considered the way animal sounds are transcribed in foreign languages and how it would literally change the way an animal would sound. *g* The Asterix and Obelisk comic is also priceless. Thanks for sharing that.

[anitamaid.livejournal.com]

If it's any consolation....
I was just the same!
I had exactly the same thoughts, so we must be related in some way (maybe I'm your long lost older, Norwegian sister? )!

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

That's awesome! It's great to know that someone else had the exact same thoughts when they were a kid! And, hey, I'd love to have you as my long lost (slightly) older Norwegian sister! :-)

[anitamaid.livejournal.com]

aw, you're the best Claire! *hugs*