Fic: Dogsbody (9/13)
Jun. 24th, 2010 07:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Title: Dogsbody (9/13)
Author: Rusty Armour
Pairing: Lester/Quinn
Summary: Lester is forced to depend on the people around him when he finds himself in a strange and startling predicament.
Word Count: 1,976
Rating: Slash, PG-13
Spoilers: S3 in general
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters or the shiny prehistoric creatures. I just played with them for a while and then returned them to the toy chest.
A/N: I was inspired to write this fic after reading
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
This is a sequel to Ps & Qs and Better Late Than Never, though this could probably be read as a stand-alone. As you’ll quickly realize, this story is complete crack and unapologetically self-indulgent. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this – probably too much fun. *g*
I’d like to give a big thanks to
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Lester could see it was a struggle, but Abby managed to hold her tongue until they were all seated in her Mini. Then she turned in the driver’s seat, and Lester almost winced at the fury in her eyes.
“What the hell do you think you were doing?” Abby shouted. “Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been?”
Connor glanced from Abby to Lester in concern. “Abby…”
“No,” Abby said. “We just broke a little boy’s heart and got told off by a teenager – all because of him!” Her gaze hardened. “Why did you do it, Lester? What were you trying to prove?”
Lester couldn’t help it. He bared his teeth and growled. What do you expect me to do? Mime my answer? Play a round of charades? Even if I could find a way to communicate, you wouldn’t understand.
Abby blushed as if Lester had spoken aloud. “You can’t actually answer me, can you?”
“Maybe we should continue this discussion when we get back,” Connor said. “You’re both exhausted and I don’t think either of you is thinking too clearly.”
Abby sighed wearily. “Yeah, okay. I suppose you’re right.” She gave Lester a pointed look. “We are going to discuss this. Don’t think you’re going to get out of it that easily.”
“Speaking of trying to get out of things…” Connor dug out his mobile and started scrolling through his list of contacts. “I promised I’d phone Danny if we managed to find Lester.”
Oh, wonderful, Lester thought. He shut his eyes, trying to block out the shouting he could hear on the other end of Connor’s mobile. His eyes blinked open again when Connor coughed nervously.
“Um, Danny wants to speak to you,” Connor said.
Lester stared at Connor in disbelief for an instant, before grasping the mobile with his teeth and hurling it on the car floor.
The corners of Connor’s mouth twitched. “Ah, so it’s like that, is it?”
Yes, it bloody well is.
“What did he do?” Abby asked. She had finally pulled her car out of Lester’s driveway and they were travelling through High Wycombe.
Connor could no longer hold back a grin. “He threw my mobile on the floor.”
“Well, if he’s pissed off at Danny that explains why he took off,” Abby said.
Connor studied Lester for a moment and shook his head. “No, I think it might be more complicated than that.”
Lester looked away and settled further into his seat. He wasn’t sure whether he was resentful or grateful for the ease with which Connor had just read him.
Lester found that he was even more indebted to Connor when they reached the flat. In a move that impressed Lester with its smoothness, Connor inserted himself between Danny and his intended target, raising a hand before Danny could even open his mouth.
“He needs a bath,” Connor said, and he ushered Lester straight through to the bathroom. He managed to shut and lock the door before Danny arrived and began pounding on it. “Well, I’ve managed to buy you some time, but I don’t know how much.”
Lester barked once and tried to look appreciative.
Connor ducked his head almost shyly. “Oh, that’s all right. It’s the least I owe you.” He started poking around in the bathroom, and Lester tried to work out what he was doing. Surely, Connor hadn’t been serious about that bath. When Lester realized that this was what Connor intended, he tried to get away, but it was a pretty big challenge in a tiny room with a locked door.
Once Connor finished gathering supplies, he turned and looked surprised when he saw Lester pressed against the door. To his credit, Connor didn’t laugh, though Lester could see that he was fighting a grin. “Look, I’ll try to make it as painless as possible, okay?”
Lester barked once, though the sound seemed strangely tremulous to his ears. He knew he should move, but his legs weren’t cooperating.
Connor crawled over to Lester, though he made no effort to grab him and force him into the bathtub. “Okay, this has to be the dog because you’re fanatically neat and I know you take showers.” He pet Lester’s head. “I’m not going to hurt you. You know that, right?”
Lester managed to give a weak bark. He did know that and, while he wasn’t thrilled by the idea of Connor giving him a bath, he knew he shouldn’t be frightened. It didn’t make any sense. Lester hadn’t wanted to think about it before now, but he found himself wondering what lay in this dog’s past to make him so afraid of water.
There was something looped around his neck. The more he struggled, the tighter it got, until it was half-choking him. As he thrashed helplessly, he was hit by a powerful blast of icy cold water that almost knocked him off his feet. It surged into his mouth, nostrils and ears, and he could barely breathe. It drove him to the ground, then lower still, to the depths of fear and misery.
He was trembling, and Connor was stroking his back gently. Over his quiet whimpers, he heard Connor whisper soothingly.
Right, Lester thought. I won’t be doing that again.
Eventually, he stopped whimpering and the trembling died down, but Connor continued stroking his back.
“You were able to access his memories, weren’t you?” Connor asked. “You know why he’s afraid.”
Lester gave a single bark and walked slowly to the bathtub, trying to ignore his shaky limbs. Now that he had discovered the origin of the dog’s fear, he was sure he could fight it. He had planted his front paws on the side of the tub when Connor appeared next to him.
“Maybe I’d better give you a hand,” Connor said. “I don’t want you to slip and fall.”
Oh, why not? It’s not as if I haven’t suffered enough humiliation already. Lester gave a bark of assent, and Connor picked him up, depositing him safely in the tub.
“I’m going to use the shower attachment to wet your fur first. I won’t go anywhere near your head. I’m just going to wash your chest, back and legs.” Connor reached up to get the showerhead, bringing it down slowly to Lester’s level, as if he were trying very hard not to startle him. “I’m going to use warm water, but I’ll test it on my hand first to make sure it’s not too hot.”
Lester barked, wishing he found it more irritating that Connor was speaking to him as if he were a three year old.
Connor turned on the taps, and Lester jerked as the water burst from the shower head. However, Connor kept his word and made sure the temperature was just right before directing the water towards him.
“Shh, it’s okay,” Connor said as Lester began shaking again. He started scratching behind Lester’s ears as he ran water over his back. It helped reduce some of the shudders, though Lester found it impossible to relax. It was almost a relief when Connor shut off the shower, though Lester knew bath-time wasn’t over yet.
“I should really be using dog shampoo, but I think we can make do with what we’ve got.” Connor picked up the shampoo bottle he’d found and squeezed out a large dollop before rubbing the shampoo into Lester’s chest. “Your family’s great. I can understand why you wanted to see them. It must be hard to be away from them during the week.”
The question was obviously rhetorical, but Lester still barked once in reply.
Connor nodded and spread more shampoo over Lester’s sides and back. “I know we’re not your family, and we don’t share the same bond with you as they do, but we do care, Lester. We were all really worried when you took off, especially Danny.” Connor lathered shampoo on Lester’s legs. “I know you’re a very private person, but if we’ve done something to hurt you we need to know. You’re going to have to talk to us about it, or, at least, talk to Danny and Abby.”
Well, Lester thought, the boy’s more perceptive than I realized. Damn him.
“Could you lift the paw you injured?” Connor asked. “It needs to be clean before Abby can treat it.”
Lester raised the paw in question, and Connor washed the pads carefully, being extra cautious around the area of the cut. Connor had set the paw back down again and was putting down the shampoo bottle, when there was a knock on the door.
Oh, please don’t let it be Danny.
“Connor, has Lester had his bath yet?” Abby said, her voice filtering through the door. “I want to bandage his paw.”
Connor sprang to his feet. “Just a second.”
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Don’t you dare let her in.
Connor unlocked the door, and Abby walked into the bathroom with an armful of supplies. She raised her eyebrows at Lester, but held her tongue. Then Connor whispered something in Abby’s ear that Lester couldn’t quite make out. However, when Abby’s face fell and her eyes darted in Lester’s direction, Lester had a good idea what Connor had told her.
What are you going to do next, Connor? Take out an advert? He watched Abby warily as she perched on the side of the tub. Then he had to fight the urge to wag his soapy tail as Abby began scratching behind his ears.
“Just relax, okay?” Abby said.
Maybe once I’m out of the bath, Lester thought. He could see Connor stretching out his hand for the shower attachment.
“Lester, look at me,” Abby said. “Focus on me.”
Lester heard the water start up and couldn’t help tensing.
Abby tugged on one of Lester’s ears gently. “It will all be over in a minute. Just keep your eyes on me. That’s it. There you go. Just hold on a little longer, Lester.”
A little longer turned out to be a lot longer than Lester would have liked, but he kept his eyes glued on Abby and managed to get through the ordeal.
Abby smiled at Lester when Connor turned off the shower. Then she fetched a towel and began drying Lester off. “Connor, can you help me lift him out of the bath? I don’t want the bandages to get wet and I think we’ll have more room to work on the floor.”
“I can do it,” Connor said. “Just grab what you need to treat his paw.”
Lester contained a growl as Connor hauled him out of the bathtub. He wondered how the average dog was able to endure this kind of treatment. Were they like little children who wanted to be picked up and carried around?
“Lester, could you try to keep your injured paw off the ground?” Abby asked. “I’m going to dry it off and put on some ointment.”
Lester didn’t bother barking in reply. He simply raised his paw and sat patiently as Abby dried the pads of his foot with infinite care and patience. Then she was dabbing ointment on the cut.
“Once I bandage your paw, you should try to keep off of it as much as possible,” Abby said. “No more long treks across Buckinghamshire.”
Lester snorted but didn’t argue. He had accomplished what he’d needed to accomplish.
“Is that too tight?” Abby asked once she had wrapped three layers of gauze and three layers of bandages around Lester’s paw and ankle.
Lester barked twice. Then he lowered his foot, setting it gingerly on the ground. There was no pain. Satisfied, Lester headed for the door.
“Well, I suppose we’re done,” Abby said. She began gathering up her supplies, while Connor opened the bathroom door.
No one was surprised to see Danny standing outside in the hall.
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Date: 2010-06-25 12:17 am (UTC)Poor Lester! Nothing worse than having your junior co-worker give you a bath -- unless it's being flooded with a dog's traumatic memories.
Sounds like Anna/Helen used some very nasty training techniques.
I wonder how Wet!Doggy!Lester will greet Danny? [I have some guesses.]
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Date: 2010-06-25 01:02 am (UTC)>>>“Maybe I’d better give you a hand,” Connor said. “I don’t want you to slip and fall.” Oh, why not? It’s not as if I haven’t suffered enough humiliation already. Lester gave a bark of assent, and Connor picked him up, depositing him safely in the tub. <<<
Poor Lester! Nothing worse than having your junior co-worker give you a bath -- unless it's being flooded with a dog's traumatic memories.
No, poor Lester did not have any fun in this installment. Just a lot of embarrassment and trauma.
Sounds like Anna/Helen used some very nasty training techniques.
It's not clear from the flashback, but I think I can share this information without it being a plot spoiler. I had pictured the dog coming from a puppy farm (a purely fictitious puppy farm) where the animals were blasted with hoses when they needed to be washed. Anna/Helen is innocent for once. *g*
I wonder how Wet!Doggy!Lester will greet Danny? [I have some guesses.]
We'll have to compare notes after I've posted the tenth installment. I'm really curious to know whether any of your guesses will be right!
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Date: 2010-06-25 01:49 am (UTC)Ah, AlternateUniverse!PuppyFarm ... that one I didn't guess. But whenever anything evil happens, I always think Helen's the cause. LOL
Looking forward to the 10th installment to see the delayed Lester/Danny confrontation now that Danny's spilled the beans and Lester can't talk.
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Date: 2010-06-25 02:02 am (UTC)LOL! You'll have to see
Ah, AlternateUniverse!PuppyFarm ... that one I didn't guess. But whenever anything evil happens, I always think Helen's the cause. LOL
Yes, that's how sick and twisted I am. I've created an AlternateUniverse!PuppyFarm. I seriously need to be committed. *g*
But whenever anything evil happens, I always think Helen's the cause. LOL
Well, that's only natural considering that 99.9% of the time she is the cause! *g*
Looking forward to the 10th installment to see the delayed Lester/Danny confrontation now that Danny's spilled the beans and Lester can't talk.
I hope it doesn't disappoint. I think it's safe to say that Lester gets some things off his damp doggy chest. ;-)
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Date: 2010-06-25 01:37 am (UTC)Hee, people can't seem to remember that whole not being able to talk thing! Too funny!
Well, that answers my question. The dog is still in there. Poor traumatized doggy.
Owww...Danny is back. Dun dun daaa. Ummmm...my attempt at dramatic music. Okay, my musical cues need work.
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Date: 2010-06-25 02:15 am (UTC)LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! God, I'm dense! I thought you were excited about Thursday because it was the day before Friday! *chortle* Oh, Herne, I don't know where my brain has gone. Yesterday, I forgot to put my yogurt in with my lunch and it ended up sitting out all day in my apartment. I also didn't get my mom's joke about the fake lake tsunami warning when I called her yesterday after the earthquake. Okay, in my defence, I didn't quite hear the "fake lake" part of the joke clearly...Suffice it to say, I've been completely absent-minded and very very thick lately. I'd make an ideal plank because I'm that thick. *g*
Hee, people can't seem to remember that whole not being able to talk thing! Too funny!
I'm glad you found that amusing. I liked the idea that Abby was so tired and angry that she momentarily forgot that Lester couldn't talk. *g*
Well, that answers my question. The dog is still in there. Poor traumatized doggy.
Yes, I think that's the first clear sign you get that the dog is still in there. I know it wasn't very clear before that, which is entirely my fault. However, I'm glad your question was finally answered with that scene. :-)
Owww...Danny is back. Dun dun daaa. Ummmm...my attempt at dramatic music. Okay, my musical cues need work.
Remember. You're talking to the same person who didn't get your Thursday reference or the fake lake tsunami joke. Plank!girl isn't going to throw any stones when it comes to the musical cues department. Actually, I think you're the first person to provide dramatic music, so I'm actually quite thrilled! Thanks for both the musical cue and for reading this part so quickly! :-D
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Date: 2010-06-25 11:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 04:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 02:37 am (UTC)More, please! :D
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Date: 2010-06-25 02:58 am (UTC)I can see why you're torn! I think you'll just have to feel equally bad for both of them! *g*
More, please! :D
There's definitely more coming! Then, if I get my act together, there will be even more after that! *g*
Thanks for taking the time to read and review,
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Date: 2010-06-25 07:36 am (UTC)eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
This is so wonderful.
Poor Lester-dog, all terrified of water *shudder* That was brilliantly done.
Lester's voice is so hilarious *g* Bless him.
Wasn't Connor great? LOL to all the humiliation of being hauled about *giggle*
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Date: 2010-06-25 07:26 pm (UTC)eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Yes, I suppose that was pretty cruel. *g*
This is so wonderful.
Poor Lester-dog, all terrified of water *shudder* That was brilliantly done.
Thank you very much,
Lester's voice is so hilarious *g* Bless him.
Thanks again! I'm glad you got a kick out of Lester's thoughts! :-)
Wasn't Connor great? LOL to all the humiliation of being hauled about *giggle*
For some reason, I had pictured Connor comforting Lester early on when planning the story. However, it was originally going to be part of another scene and be a different flashback. In any case, I like the idea of Connor being there for Lester after Lester was kind enough to take him in. I like to think that there's a bit of a bond between the two of them now because they were forced to live under the same roof.
I'm also a hurt/comfort fiend, so I knew a hurt/comfort moment (or moments) was going to pop up somewhere. *g*
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Date: 2010-06-25 07:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 08:06 am (UTC)I loved Connor being so perceptive in this as well. But Danny still isn't happy, I'm sure.
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Date: 2010-06-26 01:45 am (UTC)Thank you very much,
I just hope that poor creature gets rescued as well. I'll be rooting for him the whole way through and keeping my paws crossed for a happy ending for him.
I'm thrilled that you're rooting for the dog! For some reason, I find that really touching! :-) I wish I could tell you whether our canine friend is going to have his happy ending. What I can tell you is that you shouldn't have to wait too much longer to find out. :-)
I loved Connor being so perceptive in this as well.
I'm not sure why, but I felt Connor would be the one to understand (at least in part) what was going on with Lester. Connor always struck me as being a rather sensitive soul. He literally cried on Cutter's shoulder when his friend died and we see him shed tears after Cutter is killed. This may or may not be true, but I get the sense that this sensitivity makes Connor aware of the pain other people are suffering. And as he lived under the same roof as Lester for a while, I'd like to think that maybe he's become a bit more adept at reading his boss. *g*
But Danny still isn't happy, I'm sure.
No, poor Danny isn't a happy camper, I'm afraid. This whole terrible episode might cause him to become a cat person... ;-)
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Date: 2010-06-26 07:51 am (UTC)LOL, poor Danny!
Oh yes, I'm definitely rooting for the dog. I'm a total sucker for pets and howl like a baby if anything bad happens to them. If I'm reading a book and there's a pet in it, I have to read the end to check it survives otherwise I don't enjoy the book!
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Date: 2010-06-25 08:33 am (UTC)Poor puppy, traumatise by being hosed down - add that to Lester's embarassment at being bathed by Connor and it's not been a particularly pleasant experience for him.
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Date: 2010-06-26 01:52 am (UTC)I almost wish I had tried it now! I like the idea of Lester venting his anger by growling and barking on Connor's mobile! Danny wouldn't know what hit him! *g*
Poor puppy, traumatise by being hosed down - add that to Lester's embarassment at being bathed by Connor and it's not been a particularly pleasant experience for him.
No, bath-time wasn't a fun time for Lester. I mean, the poor guy didn't even have a rubber ducky. I should probably feel guilty about that...
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment,
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Date: 2010-06-25 10:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 02:05 am (UTC)I'm thrilled that you're loving the perceptive and sensitive Connor! :-) I think it's safe to say that there's still a bit more perceptiveness and sensitivity to come.
Poor Lester, not only does he have the trauma of being in a dog's body to start with, but he's got to deal with the dog's traumas as well!
Yes, it's extremely unfair. I had no idea I was such a cruel person until I started writing this story. *g* Okay, just kidding. As we all know, this is Anna Taylor's fault. *Clears throat* Anywaaaaay, I'm sure things might get better.
Thanks for reading and commenting,
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Date: 2010-06-25 06:04 pm (UTC)This is lovely! Just... so lovely!
"Well, Lester thought, the boy’s more perceptive than I realized. Damn him." *giggles* Loved this line, a lot!
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Date: 2010-06-26 02:18 am (UTC)Oh, no! *Grabs the shower attachment from Lester's bathroom and tries to extinguish
This is lovely! Just... so lovely!
*Blushes* Thank you very much! I'm very happy you enjoyed it! :-)
"Well, Lester thought, the boy’s more perceptive than I realized. Damn him." *giggles* Loved this line, a lot!
Oh, awesome! Thanks again,
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Date: 2010-06-26 10:34 pm (UTC)Hee! Glad to please you, then. ^.^
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Date: 2010-06-25 11:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 02:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-25 11:55 pm (UTC)Loved Lester showing his feelings about Danny by throwing the mobile on the floor.
Connor really is perceptive when it comes to doggyLester, I'm sure he has at least an idea of why Lester ran.
*hugs* poor doggyLester over that memory. I do hope the dog ends up with Jeremy and the family at the end.
Poor Lester - not only yelled at by Abby but bathed by Connor and then by Abby!
Love Lester's internal commentry.
Be interesting to see how he reacts to Danny next week - I bet it's not tail wagging.
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Date: 2010-06-26 03:05 am (UTC)Oh, yes. Abby was definitely more worried than angry. I think Lester really scared her when he disappeared like that.
Loved Lester showing his feelings about Danny by throwing the mobile on the floor.
That wasn't something I had originally planned. It just popped in there when I was writing the scene. I'm glad you got a kick out of it. :-)
Connor really is perceptive when it comes to doggyLester, I'm sure he has at least an idea of why Lester ran.
I wonder if Connor is so perceptive because he's good with animals and may have learned a bit about Lester when he was staying in his flat. I don't think I'm giving away any spoilers by saying that Connor certainly does have some idea why Lester ran.
*hugs* poor doggyLester over that memory. I do hope the dog ends up with Jeremy and the family at the end.
I actually debated whether I should create such a sad backstory for the dog. Considering that I can't watch any movie with an animal without crying, I'm surprised I did that. However, that's how the dog was formed in my imagination, so I couldn't ignore that. As usual, I can't confirm or deny your theory about what will happen to the dog in the end. However, a happy ending isn't out of the realm of possibility. :-)
Poor Lester - not only yelled at by Abby but bathed by Connor and then by Abby!
It really isn't his day, is it? Poor Lester.
Love Lester's internal commentry.
Thank you! I'm glad that worked for you! :-)
Be interesting to see how he reacts to Danny next week - I bet it's not tail wagging.
And you think Connor's perceptive! The accuracy of some of your predictions is a little scary! *g* Okay, I'll give you this one. There will be a distinct lack of tail wagging.
Thanks for reading this and leaving such wonderful feedback,
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Date: 2010-06-27 09:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-26 09:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 08:40 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading the story and leaving a comment,