rusty_armour | Fic: Dogsbody (13/13)

Title: Dogsbody (13/13)
Author: Rusty Armour
Pairing: Lester/Quinn
Summary: Lester is forced to depend on the people around him when he finds himself in a strange and startling predicament.
Word Count: 4,316
Rating: Slash, PG-13
Spoilers: S3 in general
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters or the shiny prehistoric creatures. I just played with them for a while and then returned them to the toy chest.
A/N: I was inspired to write this fic after reading

knitekat’s Under the Moonlight, the first story in the Under the Moonlight wolfverse. Although I had intended to post this as a serial, the original plan was to finish the story first, as I swore to myself that I wouldn’t commit another crime of WIP. However, as so often happens, this story ended up being longer and more complicated than I’d imagined. Reality has also been rearing its ugly head and there are other commitments I can’t put off any longer, so…WIP. Well, at least this time, a large portion of the story has already been written, so I think most of the posts should be delivered in a timely fashion.

This is a sequel to Ps & Qs and Better Late Than Never, though this could probably be read as a stand-alone. As you’ll quickly realize, this story is complete crack and unapologetically self-indulgent. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this – probably too much fun. *g*

I’d like to give a big thanks to

lukadreaming for the Brit-check beta.

The entire story is now available under one link at A03: http://archiveofourown.org/works/102617

Lester couldn’t keep track of how much time was passing. During his waking moments, the world was a confusing jumble of sounds and voices. Occasionally, he managed to work his eyelids open a crack and there were flashes of light and colour. Once, he thought he saw a face peering down at him before he was tugged back into the darkness again. Then, to his great relief, he heard a voice that he recognized. He used it to anchor himself to reality and tried to hold on for as long as he could.

“…That’s why you need to speak to him, James. It may have been cute at the beginning, but it lost its appeal when he started digging up the flower beds to hide his buried treasure. He spent so much time in his room over the weekend that Peter started referring to it as ‘the brig’.”

Poor Jeremy. Life isn’t easy when you’re five.

“Actually, it’s Emma I’m worried about. She’s been very quiet and even more moody and withdrawn than usual. I’m sure I saw her crying on Saturday, and you should have seen her face when she heard you were in hospital. I thought she was going to faint!”

What? Emma? Lester struggled to open his eyes.

“Darling, can you hear me? You look like you’re trying to wake up again.”

Lester felt someone grip his hand and finally won the battle to open his eyes. “Jo,” he said, his voice emerging as part whisper, part croak.

Joanna smiled and Lester thought it might be the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Hello, sweetheart. It’s lovely to see those green eyes again.” Joanna leaned forward and kissed Lester’s cheek. “I’m so glad that nasty knock to the head didn’t put you out of commission permanently.”

Knock to the head? Oh, that must be the official cover story. Lester swallowed around the dryness in his throat and tried to speak again. “Emma…What’s wrong – ?”

Joanna pressed a plastic cup to Lester’s lips, and Lester gratefully sipped some water.

“So, you heard all that,” Joanna said. “Why aren’t I surprised?” She pulled the cup away and set it down on the bedside table. “I don’t know what’s going on in that Lester brain of hers, but I’m sure she’ll feel a lot better when she hears that you’re okay. She insisted on coming, you know. Last time I saw her, she was in the waiting room, sleeping on Danny’s shoulder.”

Lester blinked in surprise. “Danny?”

“Well, of course, darling. He’s your boyfriend. Where else would he be?” Joanna shook her head in amusement. “He was sitting with you earlier. We’ve all been taking turns.” She patted Lester’s shoulder and rose from her chair. “I think it’s time I fetched the doctor, don’t you? I should have done that as soon as you woke up.”

Lester tried to tell Joanna to stay, but his eyes fell shut and he lapsed back into slumber.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When Lester opened his eyes a second time, it was to find a pale solemn girl sitting at his bedside.

“You didn’t have to sit there waiting,” Lester said. “You should have woken me up.”

Emma managed a faint smile. “The doctor said we should let you sleep.”

Lester rolled his eyes. “I’ve had more than enough sleep the last few days.”

“Then you’re okay?” Emma asked. “You’re really okay?” Her voice sounded small and quiet – more like that of a frightened little girl than an adolescent.

Lester extended his arm and was pleased to discover that he could grasp Emma’s hand. “Come here,” he said.

Emma rested her head on Lester’s chest, and Lester wrapped his arms around her.

“Could you sing your version of ‘The Incy Wincy Spider’?” Emma asked. “If you’re feeling up to it.”

Lester raised an eyebrow. Emma hadn’t asked to hear that song in years as she’d conquered her arachnophobia. Mostly. “You know your mother has banned that song, don’t you?”

Emma snorted against Lester’s chest. “As if that’s ever stopped you. Besides, she’s not here, is she?”

“Very well,” Lester said. Then he began to sing in a hoarse strained voice:

The Incy Wincy Spider climbed up the water spout.
Daddy grabbed a machine gun and took the spider out.
The sun had already appeared as it never really rained,
And the Incy Wincy Spider was never seen again.

Emma released a deep shuddering breath, and Lester stroked her hair.

“Is that better?” Lester asked.

Emma nodded against Lester’s chest, but made no attempt to move. Lester smiled and continued stroking Emma’s hair until he fell asleep again.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“I know you’re awake,” Danny said. “Your breathing’s different when you’re asleep.”

“My God, Danny. How much time have you spent here?” Lester opened his eyes and reached for his water, but Danny picked up the cup for him and held it to his lips. Lester glared at Danny, but took a few sips. “You should go home. You look exhausted.”

Danny waved Lester’s concern away. “It’s fine,” he said. “Besides, it’s given me a chance to spend some time with Joanna and Emma. Oh, and Peter. Joanna brought him in yesterday, but you were asleep. Jeremy’s with his gran. Joanna thinks he’s too young to, um, see you like this.”

Lester grimaced. “None of the kids should see me like this.”

Danny laid his hand on Lester’s. “They can handle it.”

Lester glanced down at their hands. “Danny, why are you here? After the way I treated you – ”

“You were tired and upset when you typed those things,” Danny said. “We both were.”

Lester shook his head. “You’ll be saying I wasn’t myself next, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I broke up with you, Danny. Deliberately.” He tried to extricate his hand, but Danny caught it and held it in his own.

“Oh, no, you’re not getting out of this relationship that easily, James.” Danny lifted Lester’s hand to his lips and kissed it. “Emma says the break up doesn’t count anymore because you’re no longer a dog, and that you only broke up with me in the first place because you didn’t want me to be stuck with a dog.”

Lester’s eyes widened. “Emma knows that we’re – ?”

“I didn’t say a thing,” Danny said. “She worked it all out on her own. She said she thought you might be seeing someone and that it must be me because I was the only other person camped out in the waiting room.”

Lester frowned. “That girl is too clever for her own good.”

Danny grinned. “She’s too much like her father for her own good: that’s her trouble.”

Lester ducked his head sheepishly. “Yes, well…”

“So the break up doesn’t count because you’re back in your own body again,” Danny said. Then he leaned forward to kiss Lester on the lips. Lester met Danny halfway and allowed himself to become lost in the kiss, though there was still something nagging at the back of his head – a question he’d meant to ask Emma. When he remembered, he pulled away from the kiss, gripping Danny’s collar anxiously.

“What happened to the dog?” Lester asked. “Is he okay? He isn’t…He didn’t…?”

Danny smiled. “The vet got the bullet out and the dog made it through surgery with flying colours.”

Lester released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.” It was bad enough the dog had been shot in the first place, but death would have been unconscionable. “You were there – in the control room. How did you know where to find Anna Taylor?”

Danny shrugged. “It seemed as good a place as any,” he said. “Big abandoned building in London with lots of space for Anna Taylor to stash a kidnapped civil servant and the rest of her bounty. It just stood to reason.” When Lester raised a skeptical eyebrow, Danny laughed. “Okay, I spoke to an informer I used to know when I was still a copper. With his network of contacts, he knows just about everything that happens in this city. When I asked him whether he’d heard about any abandoned buildings that had recently become occupied, he told me that there had been some suspicious activity at Battersea Power Station. Naturally, I thought I’d better check it out.”

“Naturally,” Lester muttered.

Danny sat back in his chair, looking far too smug. “How did you work it out, boss?”

“Oh, um…It’s not important.” Lester grabbed the cup of water at his bedside and took another drink. When he set the cup down, he saw that Danny’s lips were twitching and he realized that Danny had already known the answer. Lester crossed his arms. “Have you had any problems with Anna Taylor? I can’t imagine her being a model prisoner.”

The smugness instantly vanished from Danny’s face to be replaced by a look of pure shame.

“No,” Lester said.

Danny closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. There was just so much going on. Becker and his men were busy with the security guards, Abby and Connor were taking care of the dog, and I was focused on you. As soon as she had transferred your consciousness and disconnected all those tubes and wires, she was gone. She just slipped away, and I never even noticed.”

Lester squeezed Danny’s arm. “Helen Cutter was always slipping through our fingers. She would have made an excellent escape artist. Might have even put Houdini to shame. And Anna Taylor is just like her.” Lester caressed the arm beneath his fingers. “You’re not to blame. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I should have let Becker take more men. And I certainly should never have allowed her to provoke me.”

“I heard her, James,” Danny said. “You had every reason to attack her. I just wish I’d beaten you to it.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Lester had assumed he would escape the constant vigilance when he was released from hospital. When Danny insisted on pushing him down to the car park in a wheelchair, he found himself reassessing the situation. It became even worse when they arrived at his flat. Lester had barely walked in the door when he found himself being herded towards his bedroom.

“I’ve been asleep for over a week,” Lester grumbled. “I thought I’d try something novel and remain vertical for a change.”

Danny’s grip on Lester’s elbow tightened. “You were only discharged from hospital because you agreed to rest. Come on.”

Knowing it was pointless to struggle, Lester let Danny lead him to his bedroom. However, he halted in his tracks when he reached the threshold, gaping incredulously at the room’s occupants. Abby and Connor were sitting on the end of the bed and a German shepherd was lying between them.

“Oh,” Lester said. Without realizing what he was doing, he started walking towards the bed, only breaking out of his trance when he found his hand hovering a few inches from the dog’s head. He froze and was about to withdraw his hand, when Connor jumped off the bed and pulled on Lester’s arm, giving Lester no choice but to accept the spot that had been vacated. Then Abby was taking Lester’s hand and setting it back on its original course.

Lester scratched behind the dog’s ears without thinking, and the dog butted against his hand encouragingly. The dog seemed to be in pretty good spirits considering that he was swathed in bandages.

Abby smiled at Lester, her blue eyes twinkling. “I hope you don’t mind, but we thought you might like to see him.”

“Plus, you and Lester will be able to keep each other company while you both recover,” Connor said.

Lester glared at Connor. “It may have escaped your notice, but I’m back in my own body now. You don’t have to call the dog ‘Lester’.”

Connor bit his lip, as if he were trying not to laugh. “Actually, I do. He won’t respond to anything else.”

“What do you mean he won’t respond to anything else?” Lester snapped. “Just give him another name and stick with it.”

Abby exchanged a look with Connor and giggled. “We’ve tried. Honestly, we have. He just ignores us if we use another name.” She patted Lester’s arm. “Don’t worry. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if your little boy called him ‘K-9’.”

Lester’s eyes narrowed. “Why? Are you planning on bringing him round for tea?”

Abby exchanged another glance with Connor. “Actually, we were thinking of something a little more permanent.”

Lester frowned. “Permanent?”

“He needs a home, Lester,” Abby said.

Lester’s eyes widened. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. And, for the record, no.”

“Why not?” Abby asked.

“Why not?” Lester exclaimed. “Well, for starters, I don’t know the first thing about dogs.”

“I’m assuming you didn’t know anything about kids when you got married, but you still decided to have them,” Danny said.

Lester directed a scathing look at Danny before returning his attention to Abby. “Look, you and Connor are the ones who are good with animals. Why don’t you take him?”

“Because we already have three little flatmates and we just don’t have the space,” Abby said. “Besides, he should be around children who will play with him and give him lots of love and attention.” She stroked the dog’s head, ruffling his fur gently. “And just think how happy it will make your little boys, especially Jeremy.”

Lester crossed his arms. “That’s all well and good for my boys, but what about Emma?” he asked. “All of this has really upset her. Do you honestly think she wants a daily reminder of what happened to her dad?”

Danny cleared his throat. “Actually, Emma has been asking about the dog. She wanted to know if we’d found a good home for him.”

That revelation caught Lester by surprise and it took him a moment to process the information. “Well, just because Emma inquired after the dog doesn’t mean that she wants him as a pet.”

Danny nodded. “You’re right. It doesn’t mean she wants him as a pet.”

“Thank you,” Lester said.

“Of course,” Danny added, “she did ask how one might go about owning a dog that, for all intents and purposes, had previously been a stray – if it was something that had to be reported to the authorities. Very civic-minded of her, I have to say.”

Lester scowled. “She may have simply been curious, that’s all.”

“Oh, so when she asked whether it was too late to train ‘Lester’ as a guard dog that was mere curiosity as well, was it?” Danny asked. He grinned at Abby and Connor. “Apparently, her dad worries about them being on their own during the week, despite the state-of-the-art burglar alarm he had installed.”

“Ah, that’s so sweet,” Abby said.

Lester might have lashed out at both Danny and Abby, but, fortunately for them, he was too busy staring at the dog. “But she said she didn’t want a mutt,” he muttered to himself.

Abby shot Lester a dirty look and tried to cover the dog’s ears. “That’s not a very nice thing to say.”

Lester rolled his eyes. “Emma said it, not me, though he’s not exactly a pedigree dog, is he?”

Abby’s expression grew even colder. “Oh, so that’s it? You don’t want him because he isn’t a pedigree dog.”

“Now, that isn’t what I said at all. You’re putting words into my mouth, Abby.” Lester glanced at Connor, seeking assistance, but Connor just shook his head sadly.

“I had no idea you were such a snob, Lester,” Connor said.

“You mean the Mercedes never gave you any indication?” Lester asked.

Danny tutted quietly from the door. “He took a bullet for you and this is how you repay him. I’ll be sure to remember that next time someone takes a shot at you.”

“I was rather hoping there wouldn’t be a next time!” Lester sighed and ran a hand across his face. “Look, I couldn’t care less what breed of dog he is, or whether he was born with a silver bone in his mouth. As far as I’m concerned, all dogs are equally repellent.”

Abby’s face lit up. “So, you’ll take Lester, then, yeah?”

“Get out,” Lester said. “All of you. Leave now. I’m supposed to be resting.” He raised a hand when Connor took a step forward to lift the dog off the bed. “Not him. He can stay because he’s recuperating.”

Connor smiled. “Okay.” He patted the dog’s head then followed Abby out of the bedroom. Lester bent over wearily to take off his shoes, but Danny laid a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ve got it, guv.” Danny knelt down on the floor and tugged off Lester’s shoes. Then he was removing the rest of Lester’s clothing and putting him in his pyjamas. He even pulled back the sheets on the bed and tucked Lester in. Lester was almost relieved when there was a knock on the door. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised when it turned out to be Abby.

“I just wanted to check on the dog.” Abby was standing hesitantly at the threshold, as if she wasn’t sure whether to enter the room or not.

Lester snorted. “Well, the dog hasn’t moved since you left a few minutes ago, but, by all means, come in and check.”

“Well, that’s just it,” Abby said. “He’s at the end of the bed.”

Lester raised an eyebrow. “And where else should he be?”

Abby walked over to the bed and patted a spot on the mattress right beside Lester. “Come on, boy. Up you get.”

Lester opened his mouth to protest then watched in amazement as the dog rose slowly to his feet and limped across the mattress. He settled exactly where Abby had suggested, resting his head on Lester’s thigh.

“There. That’s better.” Abby stroked the dog’s head. Then, without thinking, she reached towards Lester. Only a horrified look from Lester, and a smothered laugh from Danny, made Abby realize what she was doing.

“You were going to pet me, weren’t you?” Lester asked.

Abby blushed. “Umm…yes. Sorry. Force of habit.”

“I see,” Lester said. “Very well. Do it quickly and get it over with.”

Abby’s jaw dropped. “What?”

Lester tried not to squirm. “You obviously need closure and, if you don’t find it now, you’ll be taking sick days in order to see your therapist. No, it must end now.”

“Umm…okay.” Abby stretched out her hand and, with lightning quickness, patted the top of Lester’s head.

“Now,” Lester said, “we must never speak of this again.”

“Speak of what again?” Abby asked.

“Good.” Lester glanced at Danny, who was leaning against the wall in a silent paroxysm of laughter. “Go. And take Chuckles the Clown with you.”

Abby grinned. “Come on, Danny. I think your boyfriend needs his nap.” She grabbed Danny’s arm and dragged him out of the room.

Lester waited for the door to close before addressing the German shepherd. “Lassie?” he said. The dog didn’t move a muscle.

Lester tried again. “K-9?”

The dog’s ears twitched, but he gave no other sign of acknowledgment.

Lester took a deep breath and said the name. “Lester.”

The dog lifted his head off Lester’s leg and looked straight at him.

“Well, I suppose you can’t help having good taste.” Lester scratched behind the dog’s ears and couldn’t help being satisfied when the dog wagged his tail. “So, tell me, Lester, what do you think of Pink Floyd?”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Lester asked. “He’s still got all those bandages and he’s limping.”

They had just arrived at Lester’s house. Danny, behind the wheel of the Mercedes, turned to Lester as he pulled the key from the ignition. “He’s sick of being cooped up in your flat, James. Besides, the vet said that a bit of exercise would do him good. He needs to start using those shoulder muscles again.”

Lester shifted his eyes to the backseat of the car, and the dog gave an enthusiastic bark, as if he agreed with Danny.

Danny rubbed Lester’s back soothingly. “I know you’ll miss having him around, but you’ll get to see him at weekends.”

Lester glared at Danny. “It’s not that. I was just concerned about Lester’s welfare. The boys can be rather exuberant at times.”

Danny smiled. “You can explain to them that Lester is still recovering and they need to be careful.” He gave Lester a quick peck on the cheek then unbuckled his seat-belt and climbed out of the car.

Danny had just lifted the dog from the back seat when Peter and Jeremy ran out of the house and down the driveway. The dog barked excitedly and moved towards the boys as quickly as he could with a wounded shoulder.

“He’s back!” Jeremy cried. “He’s back!” He threw his arms around the dog’s neck.

“Careful, Jeremy,” Peter said. “He’s hurt.” He knelt down and touched the dog’s bandages. “How did you get hurt? What happened to you? Oh, you poor boy, Lester. Poor, poor Lester.”

Jeremy stroked the dog’s head with exaggerated care. “Poor Lester. Poor, poor Lester. We’ll make him better, won’t we, Peter?”

“Yes, of course we will,” Peter said.

The dog accepted all the fuss with good grace, licking Jeremy’s face and butting his head against Peter’s chest.

Lester exchanged an amused look with Danny. “No, please,” he said. “Don’t worry about me. I was only in a coma.”

Jeremy broke into a grin and flew towards Lester. “Hi, Daddy!”

Lester just had time to brace himself before Jeremy leapt at him. “Oh, I exist, do I?” he asked, but he was smiling as he picked up the little boy.

Peter approached them at a more reserved pace, the German shepherd hobbling in his wake. “Hi, Dad. Hello, Danny.” He gave Lester a quick hug, and Lester held Jeremy with one arm as he tousled Peter’s hair. “Are you feeling better, Dad?”

“Yes, much better, Peter,” Lester said. “Thank you for asking.”

Peter nodded and reached out to shake Danny’s hand. “It’s nice to see you again. I hope you’ll stay for supper. Mum is cooking paella.”

Danny’s lips twitched, but he managed to keep a straight face. “It’s nice to see you too, Peter, and supper would be lovely, if your mum doesn’t mind.”

“Oh, she won’t mind,” Peter said.

Jeremy had tilted his head and was staring at Danny. “Are you Daddy’s special friend?”

Danny shot a startled look at Lester, though he directed his question to Lester’s son. “Who told you that, Jeremy?” he asked.

“Mummy,” Jeremy said. “She said Daddy had a special friend named Danny and that I was going to meet him.”

“Well, then, I must be your daddy’s special friend.” Danny held out his hand to Jeremy. “I’m Danny. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Jeremy blushed shyly and tried to hide his face in Lester’s shoulder, but Lester shook his head, so Jeremy quickly extended his hand, snatching it back again as soon as the handshake had ended. However, it didn’t take long for him to recover from his reticence and poke Lester’s chest with a chubby little finger. “Daddy, is Lester going to stay with us?”

“I don’t know, Jeremy,” Lester said. “I need to discuss it with your mother.”

“But if Mummy says yes can we keep him?” Jeremy asked. “Can we, Daddy?”

Lester hesitated, as if giving the matter serious thought. “Well, if it’s all right with your mother then, yes, I suppose you can keep Lester.”

“Yay!” Jeremy shouted.

Lester gazed at Jeremy sternly. “If it’s all right with your mother.”

“Oh, she’ll say yes,” Peter said, sounding supremely confident.

Lester’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “And just how do you know that?”

Peter smirked. “Because she bought dog food yesterday.”

Epilogue

Lester stared at the huge pile of paperwork sitting on his desk. He had, in fact, been staring at it since he had first walked into his office. He had known that work would accumulate during his absence, but he had never imagined it would be this bad. If the pile of paperwork collapsed on top of him, it would be days before anyone found him.

Lester put his head in his hands. He couldn’t face this. Not on his first day back. It was just too much. He couldn’t cope.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed before Lorraine arrived and began sorting through everything.

“Grab a coffee or go for a stroll around the ARC,” Lorraine said. “I’ll find what’s most urgent and put everything else aside. It will all seem much better when you come back, I promise.”

Lester wanted to tell Lorraine that he didn’t require her assistance, but he was drowning, desperate, and pathetically grateful. “Thanks, Lorraine.”

Lorraine smiled. “It’s no trouble, sir.”

“Yes, well, thank you all the same,” Lester said. He managed to maintain a calm façade as he rose from his chair and debated whether to send Lorraine a bouquet of flowers or buy her a gift basket.

Although Lester finally had the freedom to go wherever he wanted, he still found himself heading for Abby’s lab. He stood at the door watching her, until Abby sensed his presence and looked up from her work in surprise.

“I was wondering if you might care to take a walk,” Lester said.

Abby’s brow creased. “Are you asking because you still think I need closure?”

Lester crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow. “No, I’m asking because it’s a beautiful day, and Lorraine has kicked me out of my office.”

Abby scrutinized Lester for a moment, as if trying to decide whether he was being serious. “You’re not going to chase squirrels, are you?”

Lester raised his chin. “I can’t make any promises.”

Abby grinned and slid off her stool. “Okay, then, yeah,” she said. “Walkies!”

Previous Part

Current Mood: worried
Current Music: The Beatles: Yellow Submarine

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

canadian-jay.livejournal.com

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OMG

*explodes in a gleeful puff of feathers*

I don't know where to start! The family being so adorable, Danny being all stubborn and not taking any shit from James, that COMPLETELY ADORABLE dog picture staring me in the face, Joanna being awesome, Abby & Lester's continued relationship, everyone fussing over Lester, Lorraine being awesome, the family being adorable, Abby & Lester! The kids! The dog only answering to Lester, this line: "Peter smirked. “Because she bought dog food yesterday.”", the family being adorable (did I mention that? xP), and just GAH OMG AWESOME, this entire story, was so much fun and so great and fjkldsjfljjl !!!

*feathers float to the ground*

From:

Fic: Dogsbody (13/13)

Epilogue

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags