Fic: Dogsbody (2/13)

Title: Dogsbody (2/13)
Author: Rusty Armour
Pairing: Lester/Quinn
Summary: Lester is forced to depend on the people around him when he finds himself in a strange and startling predicament.
Word Count: 1,907
Rating: Slash, PG-13
Spoilers: S3 in general
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters or the shiny prehistoric creatures. I just played with them for a while and then returned them to the toy chest.
A/N: I was inspired to write this fic after reading

knitekat’s Under the Moonlight, the first story in the Under the Moonlight wolfverse. Although I had intended to post this as a serial, the original plan was to finish the story first, as I swore to myself that I wouldn’t commit another crime of WIP. However, as so often happens, this story ended up being longer and more complicated than I’d imagined. Reality has also been rearing its ugly head and there are other commitments I can’t put off any longer, so…WIP. Well, at least this time, a large portion of the story has already been written, so I think most of the posts should be delivered in a timely fashion.

This is a sequel to Ps & Qs and Better Late Than Never, though this could probably be read as a stand-alone. As you’ll quickly realize, this story is complete crack and unapologetically self-indulgent. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this – probably too much fun. *g*

The first thing Lester was aware of was that he was lying on a hard surface, possibly the floor. For one brief instant, he thought that he might have passed out and his encounter with the parallel universe Helen had simply been a nightmare. Of course, passing out wasn’t a good thing, and Lester certainly didn’t feel like himself. He felt funny…different. Then, he heard the sound of a dog whimpering and his eyes flew open.

Everything had become faded. It wasn’t black and white, but the colours were washed out. It was almost like looking at a tinted photograph, or, perhaps, viewing the world through a dog’s eyes.

No. Sweet Jesus, no.

Lester tried to stand. It took three attempts before it occurred to him that he would need to coordinate four legs instead of two. Walking also took some extra concentration, at first, and it was strange to see his surroundings from a much lower level, as if he were crawling through his flat on his hands and knees. There were also all these scents he had never noticed before. Following the strongest one led him to the kitchen, where he found bowls of dog food and water. Apparently, Anna didn’t want him to starve or die of dehydration – not yet, anyway.

Lester sniffed the bowl of dog food cautiously. While it smelled pretty good, he couldn’t bring himself to eat it. He moved to the other bowl and lapped up some water instead.

Lester’s next destination was the door to his flat. Raising himself on his hind legs, he tried to turn the door knob with his front paws. When he failed to open the door, he sank back down on the ground with a growl.

And just where would you have gone if you’d got the door open? It’s not as if you can drive anywhere. Were you planning to walk to the ARC?

No. That wasn’t an option. It looked as if he would have to wait until someone came looking for him. The prospect of being found in his present state filled Lester with dread and, yet, being alone seemed worse than the humiliation he’d have to face as a dog. Of course, whoever came across him wasn’t going to know who he was unless he found a way to communicate.

Lester wondered if he’d be able to write with a pen in his mouth. Given his failed efforts with the door, he didn’t trust his big clumsy paws. He wished he had some of those magnetic letters the kids used to stick on the fridge. He could use them to spell a word. At the moment “HELP” sprang to mind. Then Lester barked in excitement when he remembered that he had something better than magnetic letters: he had a whole tub of alphabet blocks. Joanna had asked him to drop them off at Oxfam when Jeremy had outgrown them, but he kept forgetting. Well, if Lester was going to be entirely honest, he hadn’t wanted to give them away. He had too many fond memories of Jeremy’s chubby little fingers reaching out for those blocks and hurling them across the carpet.

Lester went over to the hall cupboard and was happy to encounter a door he could open. Unfortunately, some idiot had gone and put the tub of blocks on the top shelf, where he wouldn’t be able to reach them, even if he stood on his hind legs. When the cavalry arrived, he was going to have to find a way to ask them to get the blocks down for him. It was then that the phone decided to ring. Without thinking, Lester ran over to it and knocked it off the receiver. That was when he realized that he had no way of talking to the person on the other end. Lester slumped down on the floor, not quite able to suppress a whimper.

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew, someone was hammering on the door, calling out his name. Although, in his mind, Lester knew that this was his best chance of rescue, his new canine instincts took over. There was someone on his property, someone who didn’t belong. He leapt to his feet and started barking furiously. He was still barking when the door opened, and Abby and Connor made their way into the flat. They eyed him warily, moving with slow cautious gestures. He still barked because Connor must have either made a copy of the key he’d been given when he’d stayed at the flat or he’d just broken in.

Abby smiled down at Lester reassuringly. “It’s all right. We’re not going to hurt you.” She turned to Connor and said, “When did Lester get a dog?”

Connor shrugged. “Dunno. He’s the last person I’d picture having a dog. They’re far too messy.”

“Maybe he’s looking after it for a friend.” Abby bent down on her haunches and carefully extended her hand to Lester. Lester stopped barking, eyeing Abby’s hand curiously before sniffing it. Abby stroked his head, and Lester couldn’t help leaning into the touch. “Good boy. Do you know where Lester is?”

Yeah, you’re looking at him, Lester thought. Then he rushed over to the hall cupboard and started barking at it.

Connor scratched his head in confusion. “Lester’s in the closet?”

Abby walked over to the cupboard and stuck her head inside. Lester raised himself up on his hind legs and gazed up at the top shelf, hoping Abby would get the message. Thankfully, she did. She stood on her tiptoes, trying to catch a glimpse of what Lester wanted to show her, but she wasn’t much taller than Lester was. She turned to Connor. “You’re taller than both of us. See if you can find out what the dog wants from this shelf.”

“Uh, shouldn’t we be looking for Lester?” Connor asked, though he made his way over to the cupboard all the same.

“German shepherds are highly intelligent animals,” Abby said. “I think this one is trying to tell us something.”

“Yeah, where his dog food is kept.” Connor grinned and started rooting around the top shelf. “How are we going to know when we’ve found it?”

Lester barked and jumped up and down. Connor’s hand had brushed against the tub of blocks. Connor exchanged a puzzled glance with Abby then pulled the tub down from the shelf. “Is this what you want?” Connor asked.

Lester barked again and nudged the container with his nose.

“Uh, okay,” Connor said. He set the tub of blocks down on the floor, and Lester grasped the lid with his teeth and attempted to pry it off. Then Abby was kneeling down on the floor and helping Lester remove the lid. Once the lid was off, Lester knocked the container on its side and started sorting through the blocks. As he was still becoming accustomed to using paws instead of hands, it took him longer to arrange the blocks than he would have liked. However, he managed the task in the end and spelled out his message.

ITS ME LESTER

Abby and Connor gaped at first the blocks and then Lester. “What?” they exclaimed.

“No, no, no,” Connor said. “That’s impossible. It has to be a coincidence.”

NO ITS NOT

“Oh my God,” Abby gasped. “Lester…” She tried to reach out to him, but Lester backed away. He didn’t like the look of pity in her eyes or the compassion in her voice. They made him want to whimper or howl.

“How did this happen?” Connor asked. “How did you end up like this?”

Lester began searching through the blocks again, locating the ones he needed.

HELEN

“But Helen’s dead,” Abby said.

HELEN BUT NOT HELEN

Connor’s brow creased. “Huh?”

LIKE CLAUDIA BROWN

“Claudia Brown…?” Connor snapped his fingers. “She’s from a parallel universe!”

YES NAME IS ANNA TAYLOR

“Okay,” Abby said, “but why did she turn you into a dog?”

Lester glanced down at the blocks morosely. This could take a while.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It took almost an hour for Lester to relate his story through the alphabet blocks. It didn’t help that Abby and Connor kept interrupting with questions, or that Danny called Connor’s mobile twice to find out what was going on. Abby was able to speed up the storytelling process when she suggested that Lester bark once for “yes” and twice for “no,” though it made Lester feel as if he were communicating with Yvette Fielding.

Abby also suggested that Lester should be checked out by a vet, which made Lester’s hackles rise and had him growling and baring his teeth.

“Okay, okay,” Abby said. “We’ll skip the vet, but you’re going to have to let me examine you back at the ARC, Lester.”

“It’s just to make sure you’re okay,” Connor added when Lester still didn’t look convinced.

Lester wasn’t thrilled at the prospect, but at least he knew he could trust Abby. He barked once and, then, slowly forced himself to calm down.

Abby crouched down in front of Lester. “We’ll need to get you some dog food and probably some other supplies as well.”

Lester barked twice. He refused to eat dog food and he certainly didn’t need any dog toys.

Abby gazed at Lester sternly. “You can’t eat people food: it will make you sick. You’ll need dog food.” She tilted her head, studying Lester closely. “When did you last eat? Did she give you any food or water?”

Lester didn’t even bother barking, just led Abby to the kitchen. Abby frowned when she saw the bowls.

“You haven’t even touched the food,” Abby said. “You should eat at least some of it.”

Although it smelled good and was looking even more appetizing than before, Lester couldn’t bring himself to eat the dog food.

Connor also glanced at the dog food, nudging the bowl with his foot. “I’ve heard it tastes just like chicken.”

Lester glared at Connor, but it didn’t have the desired effect. Instead of being intimidated, Connor gave Lester a goofy grin and patted him on the head. Lester wished he could growl, but, unfortunately, he was enjoying it too much. Then, Abby cleared her throat, and Connor yanked his hand away as if it had been burnt.

Abby pointed down at the dog food. “Eat it.”

Lester sniffed at the food gingerly before opening his mouth to take a bite.

“Hey, if Lester eats that, one of us is going to have to take him for a walk, so he can, uh, do his business,” Connor said.

Lester heard Abby yell, “Connor!” as he bolted from the kitchen. By the time Abby and Connor came after him, Lester was standing by the front door.

“You really should eat something,” Abby said.

Lester barked twice and stared pointedly at the door.

Abby walked over to Lester, her hands shifting to her hips. “I used to be a zookeeper, Lester. It’s not as if I haven’t seen animal poo before.”

Lester whined and started scratching at the door.

Abby sighed. “You’re going to have to eat, go walkies, and poo at some point.”

Not if I can help it, Lester thought.

Abby frowned at Lester, as if she were trying to figure out what was going through his head. “You’d better grab that bucket of building blocks,” she said to Connor. “I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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Current Mood: pensive
Current Music: None at the moment

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

sparrowsverse.livejournal.com

Ohhh, poor Lester. I'm now wondering where Lester's body is...o.O I can't wait to see the next part! :D

And the letters were ingenious! I wonder how Danny is gonna handle all of this too. :D

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Fic: Dogsbody (2/13)

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