Fuel for the Inferiority Complex

[rusty_armour]

Man, I'm bummed out. I just received a submission for the RoS Fanfic Archive that's approximately 42,000 words. Now, while the thought of reading and editing this story seems a little daunting, that isn't what's depressing me. No, I'm depressed because I'm pretty sure the writer in question managed to write a story this long in only a few months. I've been working on my own fic for over two years and it's only about 60,000 words. If it was another writer, I might console myself with bitchy thoughts on how the work probably won't measure up given the short time span involved. However, everything this writer has written has been seriously good, so I don't even have that luxury.

If I were a better person, I would use this seething jealousy to drive my own ambition instead of allowing it to cripple me with self-doubt. Of course, if I were a better person, I wouldn't be seeing green in the first place...

Comments

[inkscribe.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

Sometimes it helps me to know that famous/well-known author types (the sort who get published in books and are discussed in classes of one sort or another) go through the same kind of inner angst.

Then again, sometimes it doesn't. ;-)

So I won't try to commiserate more atm since ... well ... now isn't the time. I'll just nod sagely and agree completely with how this feels, and agree it sucks.

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the hug! :-) Actually, the reminder that famous/well-known author types also go through the same kind of inner angst does help -- on a moral level if nothing else. *g*

It's nice to know that someone else thinks this sucks. :-) I'm actually feeling a bit better about it today -- possibly because I've had time to accept the situation. And, though I hate to say it, I'm actually looking forward to reading the story because the premise sounds really good. Looks like the Power of Fic triumphs again and defeats the Evil Forces of Envy! *g*

[grondfic.livejournal.com]

Hey! Firstly - great that RoS Fanfic Archive is still up, running and active. That's right down to YOU, and no-one else, Lady!

Secondly - I'm just devouring Neil Gaiman's latest - The Graveyard Book. It's ... beyond praise really. Unique. Wonderful. Scary. Poetic. Utterly, utterly superb.

It's a LOT less than 42,000 words, I'll bet (it's for kids - the undeserving little .. cherubs!).

And it took him twenty-something years to achieve. He tells us so in the notes.

Go you!

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

Hey! Firstly - great that RoS Fanfic Archive is still up, running and active. That's right down to YOU, and no-one else, Lady!

Well, me and the writers who are submitting 42,000 word stories. *g* Actually, I might be bugging you for stories soon because I've been playing with the idea of finally creating a slash section. I've posed the question of whether the archive should have slash (along with some other questions) in the most recent archive poll (http://rosfic.tripod.com/survey.html). So far people seem to be for it.

Secondly - I'm just devouring Neil Gaiman's latest - The Graveyard Book. It's ... beyond praise really. Unique. Wonderful. Scary. Poetic. Utterly, utterly superb.

It's a LOT less than 42,000 words, I'll bet (it's for kids - the undeserving little .. cherubs!).

And it took him twenty-something years to achieve. He tells us so in the notes.

Go you!

Omigod! That's AWESOME! If Neil Gaiman can take twenty-something years to write a book (though I'm sure he had lots of other projects during that time period) then it helps justify my existence as an excruciatingly sloooooow writer! Yay Neil! And Yay grondfic for pointing this out! Thank you! :-)

[pyrateanny.livejournal.com]

I voted for slash and songvids! LOL [Since they're also both virtues in my ethos, along with sloth.]

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Thanks! :-) Obviously I'll be asking to link to any RoS vids you might make if I do set up a section for songvids.

[grondfic.livejournal.com]

Can we do a slash-songvid featuring a sloth, plz? In Sherwood?

[pyrateanny.livejournal.com]

Alas, sloth is intervening in this project. I have yet to rip my RoS DVDs into .avi files in order to be able to vid them. (Daunting task -- I keep procrastinating!) But, I'll keep your request in mind! (And I'll even try to think of an appropriate traditional ballad as the soundtrack.)

[njc2007.livejournal.com]

Don't feel badly about this. I have a "novel" (I use that term very loosely) that is up to 30 pages so far. I've worked on it (off and on) for about twenty years. Oh, and those pages are double spaced, so I'm probably around 7500 words. I'm working at the amazing pace of 375 words per year. Hey, that's about one word per day.

So, long story short, a whole lot of people write at a whole lot of different speeds. There will be those who are faster and those who are slower. Don't compare your output to others. You do only what *you* do.

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

Well, one word a day is a lot better than my output has been lately. *g* All the same, it's reassuring to hear that not every writer is like Roadrunner. I usually try not to compare myself to other writers, but sometimes I just can't help it. However, you're absolutely right. Everyone writes at different speeds and sometimes the speed changes depending on the project. As you've pointed out, it's best just to stay focused on your own work and not make comparisons. This is a lot easier said than done, but I'm beginning to realize that it's essential in my case if I'm going to prevent my self-confidence from taking a nosedive.

Thanks for the pep talk! It helped a lot! :-)

[pyrateanny.livejournal.com]

Never mind, Rusty!

You can cheer yourself up by comparing your productivity to my piteous little output of fic. [In fact, I suspect that one of the only two fics I have in the RoS archive is actually the shortest of all the fics ever submitted there! LOL]

Hell, I haven't even managed the ambition to post the last fic I wrote. (Was that an entire year ago?) And after you so kindly beta'd it for me, too!

But hey, in my ethos, sloth is a virtue!

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

Yes, but what you haven't accomplished in fic-writing, you've accomplished with vids: a massive outpouring of vids! I'm sure in fic terms, you easily surpassed the 42,000 word mark a long time ago! *g*

I really think you should post that story you wrote last year. It's really good and I know people will enjoy it. :-)

[pyrateanny.livejournal.com]

Yes, but what you haven't accomplished in fic-writing, you've accomplished with vids: a massive outpouring of vids! I'm sure in fic terms, you easily surpassed the 42,000 word mark a long time ago! *g*

Oh, my vid-making doesn't count as productivity -- it's pure addiction! LOL

I really think you should post that story you wrote last year. It's really good and I know people will enjoy it. :-)

Thank you. Yes, I will try to post it eventually. That is, if I can ever drag myself away from the video editing software.

[tazzles.livejournal.com]

*BIG HUG*
Hey, I like what I've read of your writing so far. Don't discount how good a writer you are. I'm sure one day you'll get bit by a rabid bunny or hit on the head by a drugged up muse who'll help you speed your writing along.

[rusty-armour.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the hug and the encouragement. :-) I can write semi-quickly when the muse inspires me and/or I can see the end (of an installment or fic) in sight. However, I think I'd have to be drugged up too in order to write that much that quickly. Actually, I'd settle for being able to write at all at the moment. *g*